Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How To Break Out of a Swedish Jail

OK, this happened many years ago, and I do hope a lot of things have changed since then, but it was a story that made me laugh and wish, if I were going to be a criminal anywhere, I would be a criminal here in Sweden.

So one night, late at night, some gangsters showed up at a large prison. They were armed with some big guns.

Now remember, unlike the US, big guns aren't very common in Sweden.

They busted into the prison in an attempt to rescue their friend.

The prison guards response?

Stand down. Do not confront the gunmen. Release the prisoner. Go home and have a cup of coffee.

Now I don't mean to trivialize the experience of the guards. I think it would be very scary to have some people attack you with a gun. I think there are a lot of scary things about being a prison guard. This is one of the many reasons I have not pursued that particular career.

But the first thing I thought was, damn, every one is now going to call up their friends, tell them to bring their big guns, and get them the heck out of Dodge.

All in all, I think the whole thing was ballsy, from both the criminals to the guards.

And in the end it did not lead to a whole spate of prison breakouts. Although, why I do not know.

Prisons in Sweden are more luxurious than American college dorms. You get privacy, a TV, decent food. It's not a bad life if you don't mind not having any real personal freedoms.


  1. Even though they've committed a crime, we think they should still be treated like human beings.

  2. Exactly. And for some reason, people do seem to mind not having any real personal freedom...

  3. I'm not for treating people like dogs and I do believe in treating prisoners humanely, I am just often surprised that having a DVD and personal TV is a 'right' in Swedish prison, but is not considered something Swedes living in poverty have the right to afford - given social welfare benefits, compared to Denmark, where TVs are included in this basic standard of living.

  4. I would never survive a prison of any kind. Not without my interwebz. I think at most I'll make it to the 3rd day, after which the guards will find me lying in a pool of blood, with a small crack on the wall.