tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3382982335882269362024-03-13T21:22:45.216-07:00Surviving In SwedenThey say the hardest thing to learn when moving to a new country are the unwritten rules. This is an attempt to learn & analyze many of the unwritten rules of life in Sweden.
Chose to obey or ignore at your own risk!Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.comBlogger262125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-88423195642193669132014-02-18T05:12:00.001-08:002014-02-18T05:12:31.109-08:00Making Pre-school Playdates in Sweden (or just in my weird neighborhood)I have to admit I’ve never had a pre-school age kid in the
US, so most of what I understand of the culture over there I have learned
second-hand from friends and family. But my current experience with a now 4-year-old
Little Swede means learning to make playdates in Sweden, and man it is a jungle
out there!<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Things were tricky from the get go. I can’t say it is the
Swedish parents of the kids at Little Swede’s pre-school, because most of the
kids there are ‘mutts’ like mine (half Swede, half something else), but the
parents at this pre-school just don’t talk to each other. Now I am shy, and
appreciate the Swedish attitude of ‘don’t feel obliged to talk to anyone as it’s
not necessary and often uncomfortable’ most of the time because I am naturally
shy and totally an INFJ on the Myers Briggs scale (which might explain why I
like it here so damn much). But even I think saying ‘hi’ to people who you have
something in common with like ‘hey our kids go to the same school’ is a nice
touch and not a social burden.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But fine. The parents maybe mutter out a little hello, if
forced. Some insist on staring at the ground and pretending that they just didn’t
hear you. And thus I was pretty terrified of how we would breech the whole ‘Hey
my kid wants to play with your kid, can we make a play date?’ subject. I mean Little
Swede plays with the neighbors, but he LOVES his classmates and asks about them
CON-STANT-LY (as 4 year olds are incredibly gifted at doing). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I agonized over ways to approach some of these ‘stare at
the ground, whatever you do don’t make eye contact’ kind of parents. Put a
letter in the cubbyhole with our contact information? Try to catch them in
person at drop-off/pick-up? Arrange a telephone contact list by pinning a note
on the back of the door? Which would be the least antagonistic way to make sure
Little Swede could hang out with some friends?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully before I had to make a decision I received a text
message. Apparently that is how you make play dates in Sweden. One of the ‘stare
at the ground’ parents was too busy to say hello, but sent a text message
implying that her 4 year old was badgering her equally about the need for a
playdate, and might we possibly want to come over one day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Apparently, the tactic she pursued was tracking us down on
Gula Sidorna and then sending us a text message. Good to know for the future
(although I am willing to shake things up a bit).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I really hope my pre-school is just a bit quirky in this
department! How did your kids get Swedish playdates?<o:p></o:p></div>
Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-15962699862115494142014-02-11T03:30:00.002-08:002014-02-11T03:30:42.290-08:00Chicken pox, vaccines and getting sick in SwedenThis winter has meant the chicken pox for our little Swedamerican
family, and let me tell you, it has been an adventure.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the US, the chicken pox vaccine is on the list of
required vaccines to start school. In Sweden, it is not. (Thanks, Reinfeldt!)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My own thoughts about the chicken pox previously have been
thus: It’s not a big deal. I had it. My brother had it. We all lived to tell
about it. There are worse things in life – even if I had a pretty terrible case
of it as a teenager. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We decided not to push for our kids to get the vaccine,
unless they didn’t get the pox by the time they hit double digits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Swede, on the other hand, got the vaccine, as no one
could remember if he had gotten the pox when he was a kid. We just had to pay
out of pocket to get it done, it was not hard.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyways, Little Swede came down with the pox on New Years
Eve. Sadly, we did not notice until New Year’s Day. Perhaps this makes us
negligent. Let’s just say I noticed two pox right before he went to bed, had a
quick flash of ‘I hope that is not….’ and then the next day he was covered. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poor thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But having now gotten thru one 4 year old and one 1 year old
with chicken pox in the course of a month, let me just say that I think the chicken
pox vaccine is awesome. If I had to do it again I would be banging down the
door of my BVC to get that shot faster. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, maybe young kids do have it easier, but it was still
really bloody awful. Little Swede was up watching Go Diego Go marathons at 4 am
because it was the only thing that kept him from crying. I walked baby Swede
around the house in the carrier for hours on end, all night long, because it
was the only way he would sleep. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, since very few American kids still get the chicken pox,
there is very little Internet crap about what actually happens when you do get
the chicken pox. There is, for example, this moment on day 2-3 when you think ‘Oh,
this is not going to be so bad’ before all hell breaks loose. And then there
aren’t like 576 photographs of what it looks like when it is done --- ‘wait
until they scab over’ they say, but it took quite a long time for them ALL to
scab over, like 10 days. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the end of the whole thing, Little Swede seems to have
made it thru with only one scar on his face, and baby Swede seems to have made
it thru in one piece. The Swede and I seem to have made it thru a week without
more than an hour sleep in a row. And we are all, yes, maybe the stronger for
it. But, a vaccine against all of that would have been nice, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-19486422056572433752014-02-07T06:42:00.002-08:002014-02-07T06:42:39.843-08:00Sweden 2014It’s 2014 and I’m trying to get back on my feet, back to
this blog, get my shit back together – all kinds of getting back.<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now I have big plans for this little abandoned blog. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am still surviving in Sweden, sometimes barely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am still grateful for your emails – even if they are just to
correct my sad excuse for spelling and grammar. Of which I do appreciate, and I
do intend to correct, when I have a few free minutes. Which I seriously,
seriously hope will be sometime soon. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because the last few months have been crazy. All kinds of
crazy. Good crazy, bad crazy and just plain insane in the membrane.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet here we are in February. Another round of
Melodifestival. A sad excuse for Valentine’s Day. My favorite shopping week of
the year, Book Rea (a countrywide book sale). Rain, drizzle and grey day ‘is spring EVER going to get here’ February.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Hope to see you around these parts. I have a lot of blog
entries in my head. Hope to type them soon. <o:p></o:p></div>
Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-67851517552925449282013-10-21T02:48:00.003-07:002013-10-21T02:48:24.415-07:00Being Jewish in Sweden
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The subject is a difficult and complex one,
but I thought <a href="http://www.thelocal.se/50790/20131014/">this article</a> in The Local was well worth checking out. One of The Local reporters spends an afternoon
wearing a Kippah or Yamaka in Malmö and writes about the experience.</div>
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<span lang="EN-US">At the end of the day, most Jews in Sweden
get by without a hitch because they ‘pass’. Most do not wear kippahs or a huge
Star of David, they go about their day like everyone else. And they talk about
religion as little as any average Swede.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Many blame the rise of anti-Semitism in
Sweden on the growing Muslim population, but I can say I have heard many blonde
haired, blue eyed Swedes say things I would interpret as Anti-Semitic,
including things like ‘Stop being such a Jew’ when someone wanted to buy a
cigarette off of my friend and the price was to high, to ‘I don’t want to look
at that f-n Jew!’ when Seinfeld came on TV once. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">So yeah, there is a problem here, and it is
not just imported Middle East tensions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">What is the answer? No idea. But read <a href="http://www.thelocal.se/50790/20131014/">thisarticle</a> to get a sense of just how troubled we should all be about the
situation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-62689900898510094962013-10-14T02:38:00.003-07:002013-10-14T02:38:15.777-07:00Is Sweden today like 1950s America?
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Part of the reason my rather politically
conservative dad is actually happy I am living in a socialist wonderland, is,
bizarrely, because he thinks Sweden today is like 1950s America – at least the
good stuff 1950s America – minus the fun design, giant cars, and sexism.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">It is an interesting perspective,
especially given a lot of the different cultural baggage. Do you agree?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Obviously the similarities do not include
the role of women in families, but instead the attitude towards family – or in
his mind the idea that: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Everyone gathers around the dinner table at
night, over a home cooked meal. It doesn’t matter who cooked the meal, or that
both parents work, but that everyone is home around 5 pm and can relax and
enjoy family time together. Also, restaurants are for special occasions, or
lunch, not for every single meal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Children play outside. In our neighborhood
you see kids of all ages jumping on bikes (OK, now with helmets) and riding to
school by themselves. You see kids in groups stopping strangers and asking to
pet their dogs. Kids are dirty and climbing and running without a parent in
sight. There is a freedom to childhood that he remembers, that he tried to give
us, although already then a bit limited, which has almost disappeared from
American childhood today, that he sees kids here enjoy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Middle management is AOK – Most Swedes my
dad has met have a comfortable middle class existence. They have worked hard
and they have a good job and are happy. They are not trying to ‘climb their way
to the top’ – they have settled in the middle. They do not need to ‘earn their
keep’ they are valued employees. The idea that you can have a rewarding career
and life and ‘settle’ for middle management seems to have evaporated from the
radar for many Americans… especially those in larger cities. As salaries and
benefits for middle managers disappear, you have to climb higher and higher
just to live a middle class lifestyle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">You can retire at 65 – Many of my Dad’s
Swedish friends (yes he has a few, he’s been coming to visit for a long time)
have all retired. My parents have not. They could not survive where they live
on their pensioners income alone, so they continue to do a bit of work on the
side in order to maintain their lifestyle. Yes it is a choice, mostly because
they chose to be self-employed, but still, they don’t have the pension to fall
back upon that their Swedish friends have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Can Sweden maintain this 21<sup>st</sup>
century meets 1950s vibe? I find chinks in the armor every day, but I certainly
hope so. And I guess I kind of agree with him, and am glad he likes where I
live and understands why we chose to live here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-5431357238033075892013-10-11T01:49:00.005-07:002013-10-14T02:37:42.207-07:00Alice Munro Nobel Prize Laureate<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Now I have been living in Sweden long enough to realize that
no one is a Nobel Prize winner, they are all Nobel Prize Laureates (ok, I know
that many Americans know this too, but I am not one of them).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But while The Swede anticipates the science awards, I sit
around all morning to watch the announcement of the Nobel Prize in Literature. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a big reader, I am always happy when the winner is
someone I have actually read before. And while I know the point of the prize is
to bring attention to writers others may not have heard of before, I always get
a little disappointed when the prize goes to an English writer that somehow
slipped through my fingers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But Alice Munro has not. As a regular reader of the New
Yorker (or as regular as you can be, as a subscriber to the e-magazine I spend
most of my time trying to catch up on last months magazines than getting the
most up to date issue), I am certainly familiar with Ms. Munro and her amazing
stories.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And also how great that the award went to a short story
writer, a story telling form which is often underappreciated, but is such an
incredible art form. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So basically, what I am saying is, GOOD CHOICE SWEDEN! And
YAY for Ms. Munro and the short story!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
ETA - Yes, I realize I spelled the name wrong... I am going to blame my head cold and my sick kids for that one -- or make an excuse for trying to lure all of the google searchers who spelled the name wrong. Sorry!</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-54056104541007793442013-10-04T02:57:00.001-07:002013-10-04T02:57:17.571-07:00Cinnamon bun day and the powerful Swedish baking lobby
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Today is Cinnamon bun day, a day when Swedes get together
and eat ‘lagom*’ big cinnamon rolls without cream cheese frosting to celebrate
this fabulous bun that takes up so much space at many a ‘fika*’.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But is there a dark side to this wonderful tradition?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Why exactly do we celebrate the cinnamon roll on this day,
of all days? What is it about October 4<sup>th</sup> that says ‘let them eat
cake? Or buns?’ <o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, it seems there is a terribly powerful lobby group in
Sweden known as the Home Baking Advisory Board (my own translation of Hembakningsrådet),
oh and guess who this innocently named group is actually owned by? Yes, that is
right, Big Sugar. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The brains behind Cinnamon Roll day is Big Sugar – or some
Swedish sugar company or other. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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What does this all mean? Why are Swedes so much more
welcoming of a new tradition sponsored by a sugar company, then say,
celebrating Halloween? (Oh, I know, no one goes begging for cinnamon rolls, but
we are pressured to make or buy them today)<o:p></o:p></div>
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At the end of the day, I am more supportive of Big Sugar,
then say, Big Guns, but only to a degree. When you pay for everyone’s health
care universally, you don’t want Big Sugar to get too big. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And it seems like every major food group is getting a day or
two, and that could get pretty expensive, calorie and wallet wise. Here are
just a few:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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January 1<sup>st</sup> – International pizza day (OK this
makes sense as big hangover day). If you don’t eat cheese, check out January 29<sup>th</sup>
– Vegan pizza day. I’m sure there will be a gluten free pizza day next year!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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March 9 – tomato sauce day<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
April 9<sup>th</sup> – Gin and Tonic day (I’m there!)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
May 24 – Cheese day (I did not know this, I will never miss
it again)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
June 6 – Fresh potato day (well timed with Swedish national
day)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
*Just in case you missed it:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
lagom means, approximately, 'just right' ala goldilocks and the three bears</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fika is a traditional Swedish coffee break</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-22103553049725769412013-10-02T00:51:00.002-07:002013-10-02T00:51:52.713-07:00How rape is really dealt with in Sweden
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever since
Julian Assange’s rape accusations Sweden has been portrayed, for better or for
worse, as a country with the strictest rape laws in the world. This seems
strange if you are a foreign woman living in Sweden, because in actuality, the
laws play out very differently, if you are to believe the newspapers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">So here is
the latest rape case that was overturned by the Swedish Supreme Court, because
in Sweden, ‘no’ is not enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">A 15-year-old
girl goes to an apartment with a friend and meets a group of guys. Her friend
gets very drunk; the girl does not (if she had, she might have been able to get
a rape conviction). She consents to have sex with one of the guys, but then he
invites his friends in and 5 more people have sex with her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">She tells
the police she said no, that one of them held her down, but she was too afraid
to do anything. She had not met these people before. She was alone. She was 15.
She said ‘No’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">The men
threatened the girl on social media. There were reported videos made of the
act. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">But none of
that matters. Why? Because the girl did not show enough physical resistance to
the act to make it rape. By not fighting back, by not being injured by her
attackers, she was thus giving her consent. Her ‘no’, even if the court
believed it, was not enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">She had no
bruises, she was not too drunk to defend herself, she is to blame for the
situation because she did not defend herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">This is
what rape law looks like in Sweden. Yes, there is a new law, but this case was
covered by the old. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">When are we
going to start protecting our kids? When are we going to start saying to them
that you are not responsible for other people sexually assaulting you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-GB">Sweden is
not a country where feminists have won the battle. It is a country where we
still have a long way to go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-67786194960540725322013-09-25T04:03:00.002-07:002013-09-25T04:03:32.031-07:00Why pay back your mortgage if you don't have to? Borrowing money in Sweden<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As you well know, if you read this blog, the saga of our
endless search for a home continues. And that means I spend a lot of time
reading the newspaper about the state of the housing market. And right now the
Swedish central bank, the International Monetary Fund, and the EU central bank
are all fighting with the Swedish government because, it the government thinks
it is soooo stupid to pay back your damn mortgage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At least that is what all of the finance experts in Sweden
have to say. Would you be surprised to find that all of the finance experts are
employed by the banks?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OK the theory is this:
It is silly to pay off your mortgage, ever. Better to invest that money
in something else. The bank will get its money back when the house is sold. You
pay interest on the loan. Everyone is happy. Because, as we well know well,
housing prices only go up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lately there has been a change in tune, and the government
is ‘encouraging’ the banks to ‘encourage’ their customers to amortize 25% of
their mortgages. That is correct. Over the life of the loan, you are expected
to only pay back 25%. That means, if you actually made a full downpayment of
15%, you are only amortizing on 10% of the actual cost of your house (yes, this
does mean that housing costs are crazily inflated to reflect this fact). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of the Swedish central bank employees are all like ‘We shouldn’t
FORCE people to pay back their mortgages, because sometimes people fall on hard
times and if we force them it would not be good for the economy’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, the banks are saying it is silly to expect people to
pay back loans on a monthly basis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went to one meeting with the bank that is starting to encourage
60 year amortization and was told ‘don’t worry, probably when you get to 50% we
can talk about stopping amortization’ and I was all ‘you Swedes are crazy!’ I
mentioned a 30 year payment plan at our first mortgage meeting with one bank.
Let’s just say that subject won’t come up again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The good news: The good news is that due to the crazy
structure, you can amortize at an accelerated rate without any penalty. At least
that is what they say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bad news is: Seriously, no one is paying back their
loans. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So is Sweden the only country that loans out hundreds of
thousands of dollars and does not expect repayment until the house is sold? I
have read that Finland has 30 year loans, and I know even crisis country Spain
does as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are there other regions where they think ‘amortize
smamortize?’ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because everyone seems to look at home equity like it is
something that should be used long before you die, they keep giving these huge
mortgages to people in their 60s, and I am left, once again, mind boggled and
rather terrified by the whole thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-15735921592428486572013-09-17T11:09:00.003-07:002013-09-17T11:09:32.385-07:00We need to talk about Kewin – Swedish name trends<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there is this strange naming trend in Sweden going on
that is not so far off from some American style baby naming trends --- Not the
Aiden, Caden, Jaden’s because, they are obviously so 2010, or even the Wyatt,
Bennett, Lincolns of late, but the W kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In Sweden W and V are interchangeable and they even do not
get separate sections in the phone book. So it makes sense that people would
try to give their kids a uneeek name like Kewin. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it does not stop there, some names I have seen this year
include:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wiktor<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oliwer <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the all American<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wincent – because how you go wrong naming your child
something with Win in it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But Kewin just makes me giggle. And I just see their future
blonde Swedish rap name K-win in the
future. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not sure if these names are traditional, are inspired
by Hemmakwell ads, or just a way to have your Swedish kids stand out in a
crowd. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While the W names seem to be mainly male, I have seen a few
people suggest Towa, in stead of Tova. But I have not seen any Nowa instead of
Nova. Maybe that will be the wave of the future? <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-8946188051798905392013-09-09T04:16:00.001-07:002013-09-09T04:16:30.040-07:00Please don’t show up on my doorstep on my birthday(aka Undenbedes ads)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my favorite little quirks about Swedish newspapers
is, undoubtedly, the Undenbedes ads. There is an entire section of Swedish
newspapers devoted to Swedish people saying things like ‘Do not show up at my
house on my birthday, I will be in Thailand’ or more simply ‘Please don’t come
to my house on my birthday.’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was afraid, with the arrival of the internet, this
mysterious section of the newspaper would disappear. But so far, it has not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The undenbedes ads make me wonder all kinds of things like:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who are these mysterious people who show up uninvited and
without calling on your birthday? Where do I get me some? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who would show up uninvited to your house on your birthday and
NOT know that you have booked a birthday trip to Thailand?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do they not call their friends and find out what time the
birthday party is, but do check the newspaper to see if a party is on at Sven
Svensson’s house?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More importantly, would they leave the gift on your
doorstep?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is this a senior citizen group activity? Aka –‘What are we
going to do this weekend?’ ‘Wait, isn’t Sven turning 87 this Sunday? I bet he
will have some cake!’ ‘Oh, good idea Inga, let’s order a taxi and invite
ourselves to his party’ ‘Brilliant, then we can save all of our cinnamon buns
for the weekday fikas instead’ ‘And we can regift this old embroidered wall
hanging and pretend like we made it and didn’t buy it off of Ingrid’s estate
sale’ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope one day I have so many Swedish friends that I will
need to uninvite them to my birthday party via the local newspaper. Oh who am
I kidding, I cannot resist a great birthday party and would be thrilled if any
Swede showed up at my doorstep without 2 weeks of advance planning<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But can I also admit that I believe there is a large group
of Swedish thieves that thrive on the undenbedes ads as well? ‘Hey look, Joakim
von partypooper is going to Thailand for his birthday. According to the
registry his birthday is Nov. 5<sup>th</sup>, he lives at 4 fågelgatan, and his
income is xyz. Looks like we have a place to be on Nov 5<sup>th</sup>, don’t we
den of thieves?’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, um, you are all welcome to my place on my big day as I will most certainly not be in Thailand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-5253270822918242552013-09-04T02:01:00.001-07:002013-09-04T02:01:11.102-07:00The trouble with Hemnet
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Hi my name is Surviving in Sweden and I am
addicted to <a href="http://hemnet.se/">Hemnet</a>, along with 75% of the Swedish population. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As you know, we have been looking for a
house. It is not going well. We are trying to remain optimistic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But that doesn’t matter because I have been
reading Hemnet for years. <a href="http://hement.se/">Hement.se</a> is the website where a large majority of
houses and apartments for sale in Sweden are advertised. Most real estate agents post all
of their properties there. And most Swedes read it obsessively. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Many a late night drinking session has turned
into a ‘Did you see THAT house on Hemnet?’ ‘oh, you are obsessed with Hemnet,
too? What about THAT house’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Everyone knows the house that has been
listed for 6 months (what is WRONG with it anyway), the house with the crazy
layout (who has a 200 square meter house with ONE bedroom) or the beautiful
house for 10 million SEK that we all dream about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here are a few things I have learned since
actually starting to view real life houses and not just Hemnet:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">1) Professional photographers make their
real money from Hemnet – At least I hope they are paying these guys well. The
photos are amazing. And then you get there. And you see how kind of, maybe, if
the light came in just from that angle, it might look that nice – but you will
have to knock down that wall, rewallpaper and put in new flooring in what
looked like a totally acceptable room. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">2) This house looks familiar – If a house
stays on Hemnet for more than 90 days it is like the kiss of death. While most
housing markets, 90 days does not signal the end of the world, in Hemnet land
it means ‘nobody loves me’. So very often (although they would never ever ever
admit it), real estate agents take down houses for the necessary 23 odd days,
and then repost, perhaps with new photos and sometimes even a new price, to
start the clock again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">3) Lower price not always good – These days
the housing market in Sweden is doing weird things. Is it up? Is it down? No
one seems to know, least of all the statisticians (Last month one study showed
prices up, and another showed them down).
When real estate agents need a property to move faster, they sometimes
add a ‘price dropped 5-10%’. In many other places this might lead some people to
place a bid. In my informal studies of Hemnet, this is also a bit of a kiss of
death. The instant you think people do not want a house, you do not want that
house either. A lower price? Not always good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There is much to learn from Hemnet. I often
wonder ‘Where are all the books?’ when I see endless photos of Swedish homes.
But even more often I wonder ‘Where is all of the stuff?’ because everything is
so damn minimalistic! There is no homey atmosphere, at showings there is no smell of baking cookies. Instead it is
bare, open space and the same white kitchen ad nausea. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">One day Hemnet will lead me to my dream
home. And when it does, I will have to slowly wean myself away from my Hemnet addiction,
so I don’t go back and compare and think about what could have been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-66532082475793712352013-08-27T02:18:00.002-07:002013-08-27T02:18:58.552-07:00Autumn in the air<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is amazing how it is still August, and yet there is a
slight breeze in the air these days that lets you know autumn is on its way.
When I Skype with my family in New Jersey, they are still in their bathing
suits, just home from the swim club, while we are starting the song and dance
of layers on – layers off, every five minutes, depending on whether there is a
cloud covering the sun.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the days go by. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve let this blog go for a bit. I hope someone other than
men’s rights activists still pop in now and then. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little Swede has gone back to preschool, which leaves me
with a bit of time in the mornings when I am not trying to do 8 different
things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The days are getting shorter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coming back to Sweden after a long stay in the US always has
a bit of a sting to it. As much as the US is starting to look worse for the
wear, it still sometimes shines a bit brighter to my eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Were the roads always that poorly cared for? Why don’t they
just bury those damn power lines already? Whose idea was wall-to-wall carpeting
in dressing rooms, ever? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back in Sweden the roads are smooth, the power lines don’t
clutter the landscape, you don’t have to tip for every service under the sun,
and things are quieter, but not always in a good way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is good to be home. It is sad to be away. I can say this
on either side of the ocean. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-10543876094936680262013-07-09T18:33:00.003-07:002013-07-09T18:33:41.402-07:00Summer Magic Jersey style<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year I wrote about the magic of Swedish summer, and I
stand by that and hope that Swedish summer is still waiting for me when I get
home – but there remain a few things that Sweden still cannot offer – and so we
are filling up on them in Jersey….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of these things may include:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fireflies, giant watermelons, Old Fogey swims, Knock hockey,
bagels, red sauce from our favorite Italian place, Korean snacks with my SIL,
Friendly’s sundaes with huge amounts of Peanut butter sauce, craft beers
purchased from Whole Foods in giant bottles, Pizza eaten by the slice, Mexican
food, Dinner delivered to your front door, Jersey corn, Jersey tomatoes,
unexpected gifts (including a 5 pound box of cheese), cupcakes with more
frosting than cake, Dunkin Donuts, Dunkin Donuts coffee, 3 hour trip to Barnes
and Noble, Breakfast all day at the diner, maple syrup and Belgian waffles, summer
camp, trips to Costco, trips to Target, going to the mall at 8 pm when the kids
are asleep, stocking up at outlets, introducing the Swede to Funions, teaching
Little Swede the art of eating at restaurants, learning that 2 weeks is the
amount of time for Little Swede to pick up on a Jersey accent (I swear while I
do say ‘cawfee’ I certainly do NOT say ‘Caayht’ instead of cat(I don’t even
know how to phonetically spell what he is doing with his soft A’s right now)),
but basically just enjoying a full Jersey summer…. With all its 32 degree hot and humid,
thunderstorm, cicada, wonder…..<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-6224856735481338182013-06-29T10:25:00.003-07:002013-06-29T10:25:53.390-07:00American vs Swedish lunch
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwE0t0pZUjxEpKUj-rfk3-3CzlMKwTTKcVTv2T0WpWSpHTaBrF19aotZP6_wstxI00D1z0wCkaYvaD-wZDmxxoxhez4cyxStVkV6bB70bYFbC11aEsesuUHEsLgRO1Y_gOpl-FRNxflBc9/s254/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwE0t0pZUjxEpKUj-rfk3-3CzlMKwTTKcVTv2T0WpWSpHTaBrF19aotZP6_wstxI00D1z0wCkaYvaD-wZDmxxoxhez4cyxStVkV6bB70bYFbC11aEsesuUHEsLgRO1Y_gOpl-FRNxflBc9/s254/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
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We are still in the US and we decided way back that it would
be a good experience for Little Swede to go to summer camp. This has led to a
plethora of questions from Swedes, mostly because I keep calling it the wrong
word in Swedish – namely Sommarläger and not sommarkollo. Little Swede’s
pediatric nurse was perplexed by the amount of forms we had to fill in for just
a few hours of camp, but also fascinated and we had a long discussion on
vaccinations and school relations. But that is a whole other story.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Summer camp has been good for Little Swede. But it has also
led to the dilemma of the American packed lunch. Unlike his Swedish daycare,
where lunch is included and all Little Swede’s special dietery needs met while
keeping things about 90% organic, day camp (which costs about the equivalent of
4 months of Swedish full time daycare) requires packed lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Little Swede has never eaten his own packed lunch. In Little
Swede’s world sandwiches are openfaced and preferably covered with peanut
butter. We are having morning cultural clashes with how to fit an open-faced
sandwich in a plastic bag – something the Swede seems to believe is possible
but of which I am highly skeptical. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Also Little Swede has never really had many prepackaged
snacks, or much of any snack food at all. I tried a few roasted chickpeas on day one
(don’t make that face, chick peas are one of Little Swede’s favorite foods!)
but we have settled on goldfish crackers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, our little boy, who easily scarfs down three
portions of school lunch (something I abhorred for most of my school life – we only
had a cafeteria in high school anyway), is onlypicking at his packed lunch. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We have tried a variety of sandwiches. We have tried showing
him how to open the baggies. He gets help from his counselors. But, he does not
seem to enjoy a packed lunch. We tried purple colored Kefir, but really he only
seems to eat the package of fruit I send him with every day (see how well
Swedish schools have taught him!) <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-12654161641783604632013-06-25T09:39:00.000-07:002013-06-25T09:39:11.090-07:00Swedish Dads vs. American DadsI've been a bad blogger. I've missed blogging about the high holiday of Sweden, Midsummer. All I can say is, it was good. Now we are in the US doing summer US style - hot and humid, cicadas singing, summer camp and really loud TV advertisements.<br />
<br />
Maybe its a new trend, maybe its an old trend. Maybe it's that I now have Netflix on my computer that I watch while nursing Our newest Swede, I don't know. But I have been seeing a lot more ads lately. And a lot more ads where American Dads get a really bad rap. (That is probably American dads, but that grammar rule always drives me nuts).<br />
<br />
Anywho.....<br />
<br />
The fact is that in reality I see American Dads being active Dads everywhere here. They are at the playground, they are changing diapers, they are wiping tears. But just like women are left being really excited about cleaning the kitchen on American TV, the latest thing seems to be Dads left being completely helpless when faced with an infant.<br />
<br />
Here is a sad example.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/x-_hIXphXd4/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/x-_hIXphXd4&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/x-_hIXphXd4&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
Here American Dad has no role to play at all while baby is born. His first job has something to do with a car seat. The Swede says meeting his child for the first time was a life changing moment for him. Not so for this poor guy.....<br />
<br />
Thankfully, on further research the other ad I saw that I thought made Dad look totally worthless was actually an Uncle --- which is a little better. But still, why is it always men bumbling around babies? I had no idea what to do with an infant until I had one of my own.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span id="goog_456654507"></span><span id="goog_456654508"></span><br />Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-41410107181301007332013-06-08T12:37:00.000-07:002013-06-08T12:37:37.797-07:00It’s been summer
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Sorry. I have definitely been Swedified enough so that when
the sun is out, I am out, too. Little Swede has been running around swimming in
fountains. Littlest Swede has been sleeping all over town. We’ve been eating
Princess tårta for Swedish National day (I’ll save that for another post), and
sitting in the courtyard drinking near-beer since we never have time to get to
Systembolaget to buy the real thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If you have ever lived in Sweden for any length you know,
when the weather gets good, you get out of your house. You never know how long it
will last. The rain could come in 5 minutes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-32349700931851872142013-05-27T12:37:00.001-07:002013-05-27T12:37:14.970-07:00Swedishness
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<span lang="EN-US">This little video made the rounds during
Eurovision about what it means to be Swedish. It captures a lot of the little
stereotypes quite well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">(Also, I can admit that I just skipped
Eurovision altogether this year. Sure, I could have blogged about it and upped
my hits, but that would have meant watching it. And, well, when there was only
ONE Eurovision it was watchable and made a fun drinking game, but now that
there are three? Not so much)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">You can catch the video here –<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Spoiler alert – My one objection contains
the highlight of the video – where Prime Minister Reinfeldt makes an
appearance. This scene is WAY too confrontational for Sweden. Instead someone
would have left a note by the dishes saying something like “The Prime Minister’s
Mother does not work here!” or “How can you run a country and not be able to
wash dishes?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-66063341973902704092013-05-13T04:26:00.000-07:002013-05-13T04:26:10.528-07:00Giving birth in Sweden: Pain management Part II
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<span lang="EN-US">In my first post on Pain management during
birth in Sweden I posted about my experiences with the pain management I
decided to go with. But there are several interventions I decided to forgo and
here is a little about them and why I opted out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Acupuncture – At our hospital all of the
midwives are trained in acupuncture and they offer it as a regular pain
management technique for birth. You are invited to meet with them ahead of time
and try the treatment out. I have had this technique recommended to me by
several friends who declare the ‘Whiskey stick’ as it is often mistranslated
into English or ‘the Whiskey needle’ which, thanks to this mistranslation, I
often picture as the size of a small branch, is indeed wonderful. This needle is
inserted somewhere into the back of your head and is supposed to release tons
of endorphins and feel good vibes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I have done acupuncture before and
surprisingly found it incredibly relaxing. The first time I ever did it I felt
like I was high. But I decided when going into labor I did not want anyone
coming at me with a needle unless it was going to be full of drugs. Acupuncture
for running injuries is fine. But if you are going to be sticking a giant
needle into me to alleviate pain it is going to be an epidural – I am not as
crunchy as I once believed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The paddles – Actually I have no idea what
this torture device is called in English, but I will call it a torture device
since it sounds appalling. This is when they insert pockets of hot water under
your skin (yes UNDER your skin) to, again, release endorphins in your body. Or
cause you extreme pain elsewhere. Or I don’t know what. I know I thought TENS
sounded ridiculous before I tried it, and I am pretty sure TENS worked solely
as a concentration method, but keep your body modification techniques away from
my body while I am trying to give birth without medication. Seriously, I think
the other alternative should be ‘The vice grip’ tightening your hand in a vice
until you release endorphins and all of your focus is on your damn hand rather
than your painful contractions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Hypnosis – The biggest bonus about
hypnosis? No needles! My hospital has a trained hypnotist on staff and access
to listen to hypnosis CDs in the birthing room. I have actually done a lot of
hypnosis over the years and regularly use hypnosis as a relaxation technique to
handle stress. But labor is not stress. It is labor. There was this time I got
the chicken pox at an age where it was pretty damn devastating, and a trained
hypnotist could not keep me from itching. I just could not concentrate. I was
too nervous to rely on hypnotism as my main form of pain control although I did
use some relaxation techniques at the beginning. And way too many of the birth
hypnosis CDs stress the idea of labor not being painful and only thinking
positive thoughts --- and that just does not mesh with my ‘oh crap this hurts –
but I am tough enough to get thru this’ mentality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Overall I can see why 2/3 of these
techniques are appealing, but really don’t get the paddles at all. Those are
the main options my hospital offers. If I am missing something (or if you LOVED
the paddles) let me know!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-25804750750404049002013-05-06T13:11:00.002-07:002013-05-06T13:11:16.226-07:00Everyone says ‘I love you’ no one says ‘Jag älskar dig’
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<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Pretty much every time I speak with my
parents the phone conversation ends with us all saying ‘I love you.’ Except for
these days when they usually end with one child in tears and me running off
saying ‘got my hands full talk later’ or something like that before Little
Swede has a chance to click on ‘the red telephone.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But even with all that, there is a lot of ‘I
love you.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t think I have ever heard the Swede’s
parents say ‘Jag älskar dig’ to him. Not once. Not that I have ever doubted
they love their kid. They certainly show it in many other ways. But through all
the weddings and funerals and family ups and downs I have not heard an audible ‘I
love you’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This surprises me in many ways. I know
Swedes are not as gregarious with their feelings as we Americans. I get that.
But as a parent, I cannot for the life of me imagine not telling my child I
love them several times a day. And just in case I forget, I always tell them one
more time before they go to bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Little Swede is learning about this at the
moment. He openly declares his love for me, The Swede, the newest Swede (still
working on a blog name for the little guy) and everyone else in the family. But
he also declares his love for the guy who delivers the advertising foldouts on
the weekend (‘He looks so happy! I love him and his stripey jacket – were the
exact words), a new brand of diapers, and Dora & Diego. (See? He is
American, too!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I am very happy to hear The Swede has
gotten into the habit of saying ‘Jag älskar dig’ during bedtime routine, and
Little Swede and his sidekick will grow up hearing they are well loved in two
languages. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I know that actions speak louder than
words, and far outweigh them. But I also am a firm believer that these little
words say so much – especially to little ears. I cannot stop telling my boys
how much I both love them and älska dem. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-43380136944443231882013-04-23T13:08:00.000-07:002013-04-23T13:08:02.783-07:00Our Swedish daycare does not lock its doors<div class="MsoNormal">
Schooling in the US these days seem light years away from
what I grew up with. These days there are locks on the doors, metal detectors,
sign-in desks, ID cards, registered visitors and a ton of other security measures
that makes the schools sound less like places to gain knowledge and more like
prisons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little Swede’s preschool has a door that opens directly to
the outside world. It is never locked if they are in the classroom. If they
leave the classroom, they lock that door and post a sign saying which room you
can find them in. This door is also unlocked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If someone else is picking up Little Swede I just tell them
at the beginning of the day. The people who pick them up have never had to show
ID. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are playgrounds with lots of low trees. On any given
day you may walk by and see some of the older kids climbing these trees. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I bring friends or family to pick up the kids.
Sometimes they go on long walks. They get to know people in the local community
– the local librarians, the cafeteria cooks, the people who work at the grocery
store. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of the kids scream at the passers-by – “Vem är du?’
they ask over and over again. No one tells them not to talk to strangers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am grateful for this. I hope it lasts a bit longer. I don’t
want my child to be afraid of everything that moves. I don’t want to be afraid.
I don’t want to lock my child up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That said, the other day, one of Little Swede’s friends saw
me outside the pre-school and swung the door open shouting ‘Little Swede! Your
Mama is here!’ (but in Swedish of course). And that is a whole other can of
worms now that the kids are tall enough to reach the oddly positioned door
handles. I can totally imagine this kid (who is totally fab in every way and
very persuasive) leading a mass preschool exodus while the teachers are looking
the other way. I guess we will cross
that bridge when we get there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-51712898474509784872013-04-16T12:50:00.002-07:002013-04-16T12:50:12.772-07:00Becoming an American in Sweden again
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<br />
<br />
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I’m a white girl with fair skin living in Sweden, let’s just
say I ‘pass’ pretty well here. Throw in the fact that I have a rather odd
accent when speaking Swedish (people have asked if I am from Gotland several
times) and most immigrants assume I am Swedish – and many Swedes have said it
took them awhile to realize I am foreign. Fine. OK.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then I had Little Swede – and I went from speaking a
large percentage of Swedish all day, to speaking English out in public ALL the
time. After 10 years of passing, I stick out again. And it is weird. And
people’s reactions are weird.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are those who are freaked out – like the librarian who
went around telling everyone in Swedish that there was a play in the other room
if they wanted their children to attend. The one who avoided me at all costs
until everyone else had left the room. (We knew about the play and were not
planning to attend). Now my dilemma – do I say something off-hand to her in
Swedish to relax her? Finally she came up to me, after walking back and forth
to our table 3 times before she said in English that there was a play going on.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are the frustrated Iranians – Seriously, I don’t know
if it is only me, but many Iranian men want to stop and talk about politics
when they hear me speaking English. This is not a bad thing, I love talking
politics. And I am always interested in hearing their stories. It is a strange
thing to be asked ‘Are you American?’ after 11 years of living in Sweden, but
when I answer yes, I am always surprised by the stories they tell. Most are
Mujahidin disappointed in the lack of American support. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Scaring the other foreigners – I don’t know what it is about
speaking English, but I speak it louder. And when I am speaking it with an
American other than my son, I speak it much louder. And sometimes, when I am totally
relaxed and letting my Swedish social guard down? I speak it like I would at
midnight at a diner, where we have stopped after having a few drinks, over a
cup of coffee and some curly fries. That is pretty loud. This behavior
sometimes gets me some odd looks from other foreigners. Or they markedly lower
their voices and thus, I am reminded ‘I am STICKING OUT’ again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is strange to ‘become American’ again – and as much as I
try to ‘keep my voice down’ it is who I am. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-87852880825290308712013-04-13T07:46:00.002-07:002013-04-13T07:46:46.404-07:00Signs you are raising a Swedish/American kid
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So Little Swede is now 3, and showing signs of being a
well-integrated Swedish-American kid. What are some signs you may be raising a
Swedish/American style kid?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Ketchup on Pasta</b>
– Yes, I tried in vein to prevent this culinary disaster, but Little Swede
loves ketchup on his pasta. And hates macaroni and cheese. How did this happen
to my child? I do not know. 10 points for Sweden, 0 for the USA.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Peanut Butter and Jelly</b>
– Any time we go anywhere and sandwiches are served (open-face of course),
Little Swede requests peanut butter. And guess what? No one ever has any. Not
only does Little Swede LOVE peanut butter. He likes it with jelly, too. And
when we are out of jelly, he will demand it with marmalade (???? British
touches here?). No crusts allowed from the time he could speak. Kid is even
more American than I am. I hate PB&J and go for straight up PB. Seriously.
Every day for lunch, for the first 5 years of my schooling, I had peanut butter
on white bread. (Yay for American schooling and no cafeteria) 0 Points for
Sweden 5 Points for USA<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Makes a mean pancake</b>
– Yes, by the age of 3, my Little Swede already knows how to whip up some
killer pancakes from scratch. No we don’t let him flip them on the stove
himself yet (he isn’t Pippi Longstocking – athough he wishes he was), but we do
let him make the batter and keep an eye on everything. I still do not know how
to make a decent Swedish pancake. But that’s OK I make a mean American Mickey
Mouse pancake and THAT gets bonus points for me. 5 points for Sweden that the
kid even knows that food is cooked in the kitchen not the restaurant. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Mamma says ‘cawfee’</b>
– in perhaps the best thing ever, Little Swede shows off what little is left of
my Jersey accent by telling everyone that Mamma drinks ‘Cawfee’ and Pappa
drinks 'kafe'. Cawfee kicks kafe’s bottom. I think this about ties things up for
America and Sweden, don’t you? <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-25633459892524258682013-04-07T04:32:00.002-07:002013-04-07T04:32:47.601-07:00Dear Swedish Housing Market: I HATE YOU!
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we are just your average Svenmerican
family, with 2 kids, a pretty decent income, a good sized nest egg in a BSCHCOL
area in Sweden. And we want a house. But we are not willing to risk our entire
financial future on the biggest purchase of our lives.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Basically we are fucked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have vented about the Swedish housing
market before. I know. But it really pisses me off that those of us who have
really tried to make smart financial decisions are the ones who are left out in
the cold, and those who are willing to play financial roulette are the ones who
have nice homes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The price of homes in Sweden has doubled in
the last ten years. DOUBLED where we live. NO ONE is amortizing their homes. A
recent call for home owners to require amortization to 75% of home value was
rejected by major Swedish politicians. The conservative ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Everyone only looks at the monthly cost –
which is interest and fees. No one actually talks about the fact that you are
borrowing half a million dollars and then NEVER paying it back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And the houses? Does no one in Sweden have more
than 2 children and work from home? Yay for open plan houses, but all of the
new houses in our area have a maximum of 3 bedrooms and some only have one
large open area that is supposed to be livingroom/dining area/play area – and these
houses start at 600,000 dollars. We need an office/guest room and would love to
have 2 kind of open areas – one for kids. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The housing market is starting to slow down
a little bit. But it is just depressing. Of course we can wait. But if we are
going to do this house buying thing, I would like to do it while the kids are
little – so we can enjoy a yard. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And of course the bank is ready to throw
money at us. Because who wouldn’t throw money at people they hope will pay
interest for the next 30 years on a 500,000 dollar loan. They are combing in
the money. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This housing model cannot be sustainable. I
do not get it. But then again, I am not an economist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t want the bottom to go out of this
for the sake of the Swedish economy, but when people with our income and with
decent money to spend don’t feel like they can afford a house – who is left to
buy up all these houses?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-338298233588226936.post-57030369484810749142013-03-28T05:32:00.002-07:002013-03-28T05:32:11.896-07:00Sweden show why national politics and school grading policy don’t mix
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">What does an A mean? What does a B or C
mean? Having survived the NJ public school system, I know they mean different
things to different people. But at least I can be sure that when I try to
convince my Grandma that F means fantastic (on a spelling test of course, if
you couldn’t guess from this blog) – she won’t buy it. My mother had the same
grading system in the 60s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here in Sweden, since I moved here, they
have had 4 different grading systems. That is 4 different assessment systems
teachers had to understand, interpret and apply in little more than a decade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There was the 1-5 system. Then the VG-G-UG
(high pass-pass-fail). Then they added an MVG (very high pass). Then they
switched to an A-F system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Most of the changes were due to policy
changes directly from the government, that while built on actual pedagogical
research, lacked the one thing I personally think is most important in a
grading system – stability and general understanding of what each grade means.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, in the US the grade C is supposed to
be average, but the whole grading system is so inflated that C really means
‘poor’ in most schools. And that is OK because it is generally understood to be
so. Many report cards will also include an explanation of each grade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Teachers in Sweden have just barely managed
to establish what an MVG means and it disappears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If you want to give Swedish kids a fair
shot, and lessen their stress levels, quit pulling the carpet out from
underneath them, politicians, and give them a leg to stand on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Surviving Swedenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10144843041249993603noreply@blogger.com5