Eurovision 2011: The Winner Takes It All - but I'm not quite sure why

OK, I'm late to the party. I know. But give me credit, I suffered through more Melodifestivalen this year than ever before. And what do I have to show for it? Not too much.

But I figure some of you outside of Sweden must be chomping at the bit to find out who won Melodifestival and who will be representing Sweden this year at Eurovision when they lose in terrible defeat due to the Eastern European Conspiracy.

The winner is

Erik Saade Popular!

I don't know how to pronounce his last name, so I am going with Sade like the singer, not like the Marquis. But I'm probably wrong.

Why this song might just stand a chance:

1) Erik sings that 'He will be popular' 78 times in this song (you can count if you want, this is just my random guesstimate) - perhaps the power of repetition will fool the audience into thinking he actually is popular.

2) Erik appeals to a wide audience - young teenage girls, since he has a cute boyish look and is singing about seducing a young girl who is so shallow she will only love him if he is popular, and gay men - there is an odd moment in the dance sequence in which one of the male dancers feels him up. That was my favorite part of the whole routine because it was quite unexpected!


Why this song probably doesn't stand a chance

1) The Eastern European voting conspiracy
2) The song is really bad
3) The dancing is like a bad Backstreet Boys video from 15 years ago
4) Anyone that desperate for popularity doesn't stand a chance

Melodifestival 2011 – Part I – The Bad, The Terrible and the Truly Horrific

Last night it began. The long and arduous path to Eurovision 2011. I agonized for about five minutes about whether or not to watch this show for the sake of this blog. It was a momentous decision, considering I had outsourced all Eurovision watching responsibility to the Swedish Godmother of my children.

As I've said before in the blog, Melodifestival/Eurovision remains one of those true mysteries of Swedish culture for the non-European (by this I mean 'me')

But we had some guests and we all decided we would make a night of it. We had our box of wine at the ready. And then – el scandelo! Right at the moment the contest was to begin – our cable went out. (Or, I suspect, the Swede pulled the chord out of the wall and announced 'Sorry, no TV tonight).

Surprisingly, we managed to find other things to do with ourselves. And thanks to the wonderful world of the internets we were able to go in afterwards and watch the big winners and losers of the night online. And thankfully, we didn't need to watch the entire clips. I think this will be what I will do for future Melodifestival events.

So how did the Swedes vote? Oddly, I think. They changed the voting system yet again this year. But I won't get into the rules here yet.

The surprising part was that I usually imagine the Melodifestival demographic is the 8-16 set and the 55-80 set. But the winners this year don't necessarily reflect this.

First place went to this blast from the Backstreet Boys cutting room floor:

  - OK so they seem to have taken this one down from Youtube - I will post if I find it again - the good news is, you will have a chance to see it again at the finals!

Second place went to the always wonderful musical category Swedish rap:

Sadly, this song, which we felt was all about passing gas, did not make it further:

And we didn't make it past looking at this last placed entry for more than 20 seconds:

Will any of these fabulous songs make it to Eurovision? Will Sweden even qualify for Eurovision this year? Oh the drama and excitement - and we will have to wait until May to find out!

Swedish Celebrities: Carola

Now my Christmas guests have arrived – so I won't be able to update quite as often these next few days – but I hope you bear with me!

For my Christmas version of Swedish celebrities I have selected Carola, because they often show quite an inspiring commercial for her collection of Christmas songs this time of year.

WARNING: I am going to write this without consulting Wikipedia, because it is late, I'm tired and I have a house full of guests. What that means is – you will need to do your own second-rate fact checking (because we all know how reliable Wikipedia is anyway).

Carola is the Swedish Eurovision princess. No one can belt a ballad quite like her. Wherever she goes someone follows her with a giant wind machine that gives her an almost ethereal glow.

From what I have gleaned, Carola sprung to fame as a teenager when she took Eurovision by storm and I think, took home the prize. (Please realize that this was long before the 'Eastern European Eurovision Conspiracy' took over – more on that later). I think Carola even went so far as to win Eurovision maybe twice? Which really makes her quite impressive.

The surprising thing about Carola is that she is a very devout Christian. She is one of the few Swedes that, if ever awarded an award, might accept it with an 'I'd like to thank the lord God for this Best Ballad Belter Award and of course, all my fans,' a sentiment that leaves many a Swede rather stumped.

A few years ago Carola made a grand Eurovision comeback. To fully exploit Eurovision to the extreme, the Swedish competition starts months in advance with 16 different songs competing for the Swedish spot (and no, I haven't decided if I will suffer through them for the sake of this blog). The announcement was made that Carola would compete amongst the 16 top songs. I said to my Swede and any other Swede who would listen 'Why are they doing this stupid sing off? We all know Carola will represent!' They responded 'Oh no, Carola is totally irrelavent these days. No one will vote for her, just wait and see.' And I waited. And Carola showed up, with her giant wind machine. And she won.

And to my surprise she took Sweden a lot further than most other groups in the finals. Because while I understand a little about the Swedish mentality, the European one remains a mystery. So kudos to Carola. 

Swedish Celebrities: ABBA

OK, so they are the obvious choice. But ABBA is a national pride. And are as Swedish as apple pie (which Swedes will tell you is 100% Swedish).

Benny, Bjorn, Anni-Frid, and Agnetha have all paid king's ransoms to the Swedish government in taxes over the last few decades – and they are one of the few groups who haven't reunited to go on one last 'rake it all in' tour. They have only been spotted together briefly. The reluctance to reunite may be linked to their former marital status – and the fact that half of their profits would go directly to the Swedish state.

While ABBA is a mainstay at many gay clubs throughout the English speaking countries – here in Sweden you can still hear the ABBA classics blasted at nightclubs aimed at the under 25 and any sexual orientation set. Not to mention it often gets dragged out at private parties after midnite and a couple of rounds of drinks. This behaviour reached a peak after the release of Mama Mia – the movie. That midsummer was an ABBA fest extroadinaire.

And Swedes of most ages still have at least one ABBA CD in their collection – or on the ipod. Not to mention they know every word to Dancing Queen and sing Happy New Year proudly, every new year.

ABBA also represents a great Swedish victory at Eurovision songcontest – this Euopean dinosaur has no American equivalent – although it probably should. The Swedish foursome won Eurovision with their hit Waterloo. Sweden is still trying to figure out the magic formula to win Eurovision this decade, and are exceedingly proud of their former Eurovision champions.

Every year at Eurovision time we are treated to images of ABBA taking the stage and winning the hearts and minds of first Europe and then the world.

I had a friend who used to say 'There is a reason why the USA gave us blues music and Sweden gave us ABBA.” And I think that is a pretty fair statement on the situation.