Oh the times – they are a changin . . . Or The Swedes just love Ingvar Kamprad

Ingvar Kamprad, in case you don't live in Sweden, is the founder of Swedish behemoth IKEA. In the forests of Almhult, Sweden, Kamprad build his cheap furniture haven. The IKEA empire is one of the most recognizable Swedish companies in the world and Kamprad's reputation as a 'duktig svensson' or Good Swede, is almost impeccable (although there is that Nazi rumor that just doesn't go away).

There are some really big myths that surround Kamprad and the IKEA Swedish ideal. I don't know how true they are, but here goes: Kamprad drove the same Volvo for a decade, and only bought a new one when the old one died. If you drive a nice car and work at IKEA you have to park it far way from the entrance, so no one thinks it is an employee's car. Kamprad didn't give his children much of the IKEA money because they need to learn the value of the crown.

So as you can see, Kamprad is a model of the good and frugal Swede.

Except according to a news story out this week, good and frugal Kamprad also has a couple billion crowns stuffed away in a secret fund run out of Lichtenstein. In fact according to the report, Kamprad has gone out of his way to avoid and move around money to avoid paying taxes in Sweden.

ACK! This would be a perfect Swedish style scandal – rich man, robbing the poor of their tax money – get out your claws. Someone try to hold those Social Democrats back. It's time for a public lashing of the worst kind.

BUT from what I've been picking up on my radar the opposite has happened. People are asking 'What is the big deal?' and saying things like 'of course, who wouldn't do that?' People are saying things like 'Well, he's worked hard for it, he's given Sweden a great name internationally, he deserves it.'

What? Is the Folkhemmet (The idea of the paternal Swedish government taking care of it's people) losing steam?

Do the Swedes just love IKEA that much?

Or is it the result of 5 years of Moderates in power?  

My Swedish Ford Dealer Makes Me Laugh – but sometimes I feel like crying

Every six months or so we get a very 'interesting' mailing from our local Ford dealer. It arrived in our mailbox again today. Now, I realize I live in Volvo land, but the Swede and I have been pretty loyal Ford owners for the last few years. But it isn't thanks to our lovely dealership.

First off are the 'special deals' that our local dealer is always trying to use to lure us to their shop. For us, proud Ford owners, for just shy of $250 we can have an oil change and an oil filter change. This service also includes a basic service package with such challenging goodies as 'checking window washing fluid level, checking the tires, checking the coolant and checking your windshield wipers. Now, let me say that I am pretty mechanically inept, but damn it even I can manage to do pretty much all of the above – and maybe an oil change with some good studying up. But $250? For the cheapest so-called-bargain-service?

The days I get this flier in the mail are the days I miss things like Jiffy Lube. Or even my Ford Dealer at home, who knew how to screw me slightly more subtly.

That said, I have gone to my Ford dealer once when we have had problems. Not for an oil change. No. Way. Ever.

My visit went like this: Walk into show room and present myself at reception desk. Four people sit behind the reception desk – none of them acknowledge my presence.

“Hello?” I say.

Three of them look very intently at computer screens. The fourth points back into the workshop area of the store, at a fifth person. I believe they might be telling me that this is the person who will deal with me, but I can only guess. I nod.

Someone else walks in. They walk up to the counter.

“Hello,” two of the people at their desks stand up and immediately help this person. All three of them leave to look at this person's car in the driveway.

The man who was pointed at earlier is eating a sandwich.

“Hello?” I call again. He begrudgingly puts down the sandwich and comes over.

“I am having a problem with xyz with my car, and would like someone to look at it.”

“Um, we have like a waiting list of at least three weeks. And it will cost you at least $200 just for us to figure out what might be wrong with your car before anyone touches your car or any parts are ordered.”

“I see, so you really really don't want my business at all do you? have a great day.” Ok so I didn't really say this. I just nodded. Walked out. Called my husband. And said “We are never going back THERE again.”

Breastfeeding in Sweden

Sweden is often held up as a shining beacon of breastfeeding light when discussions of breastfeeding rates come up in the US and other countries. And yeah, probably if you haven't given the subject a millisecond of thought it hasn't popped up on your radar at all.

Having spent almost a year now with this being a big part of my life, I thought I would sound off on my experience here. Here are a few things I learned along the way.

• It is assumed you will want to breastfeed – I was asked about my feelings about this once, at my first midwife appointment. After LO was born, I was shown how to breastfeed without anyone asking if I wanted to or not. As I mentioned before newborns aren't swaddled – there is skin to skin contact to ease breastfeeding – and all of this happened immediately after birth – before weighing, measuring, cleaning, etc.

• Here is a brochure you can read – if you have any questions call! This was about the amount of info I got after LO was born. To be fair it was swine-flu season so there were no parenting classes before the birth. I also had a ped appointment for a few days after I got home, so we weren't entirely on our own. I also could call and meet with a lactation consultant whenever I wanted – for the cost of 10$ per meeting. There were also lactation consultants on staff at the 'patient hotel' we stayed at for 2 nights after the birth. I did consult them and they were great.
  
  
• How dare you suggest I pump! - Pumping is pretty rare – probably due to the generous maternity leave. A politician was lambasted during the last election when he suggested that breastfeeding moms could still share parental leave with fathers, by pumping at work. He went on to point out that this was the strategy he and his wife used. Mothers throughout the land were infuriated.

(IF YOU DO PUMP – Are in Sweden – And have a good supply – Contact your local hospital – due to low pumping rates, breast milk donations for preemies are at an all-time low and they welcome donations with open arms)

• Why wouldn't you nurse in public? - In Sweden, the attitude toward the boob is different. Seriously, they are everywhere – in often very non-sexual ways – and it's not a big deal. You will be stared at if you wear a nursing burka USA style. If you are shy and your child will oblige lay a small cloth over your shoulder/baby – but nothing dramatic. And no – it's not because Swedish ladies want the world to see their boobs, it's because they just wanted to keep their baby fed and not be chained to the house all day.

• At six months, you're done - Many Swedes reach the 6 month mark and abandon ship. They switch over pretty quickly to an all solids diet and lots and lots of Valling.
  
  
  
  
  
  

Why the Nielsens would hate Sweden

One of the things that still sometimes surprises me about living in Sweden is the smooth and subtle way that radio stations, TV shows, and other media forms seem to come and go in the wink of an eye.

See, I have dim memories of the US mayhem of a TV show moving to a new slot in which you would be bombarded with commercials for weeks at a time 'Law & Order Traffic Cops is Moving to Monday nights this May,' 'Don't miss LOTC at it's new time, Monday's at 9 this May,' followed by a series of newspaper articles about whether or not the moving of LOTC to Monday nights indicates an attempt of the network to perform stronger against another network, or a sign that LOTC is on its way out the door.

But in Sweden? Let's say you watched the first 2 episodes of LOTC on Tuesday nights. Then you might be hanging out a month later going 'Hey, whatever happened to that show LOTC?' And then you realize either you missed that it had moved to Monday nights, or there was a handball championship that took that slot for a few weeks, or it just went on one of the typical mid-season two month hiatus which they like to call 'the end of the season'.

So last weekend, The Swede and I were treated to some great news when we flipped on the TV after LO finally went to sleep. There was a screen that announced that we were no longer getting MTV in our house – unless we wanted to pay extra. And then, as I sat down to write this blog entry, I realized we got a new TV channel in its place. This strange Channel 11 – which appears to be a channel where reality TV shows go where they die.

Did we know anything about this? No. Was there anything anywhere that said this was happening? Not even our cable company sent us anything.

I did a quick search for Channel 11 and even the internets don't seem to have heard about it.

I don't really mind these little eccentricities in Swedish television land – despite the fact that I blog so much about it, I really don't watch that much TV and the shows I do like I make sure I catch elsewhere – so I don't have to stress about making sure I am anywhere at a certain day/time.

Swedish Politics 101: The Christian Democrats

OK, so religion in Sweden is a pretty strange beast. And as much as some crazy pastor from the US claims that God Hates Sweden and shows it by sending a tsunami to Thailand, there remains one party in Sweden that claims to have the Swedish Christian's best interest at heart.

The Christian Democrats fall to the right side of the Swedish political equation. They are in a coalition with the leading party, The Moderates.

So what do the Christian Democrats want to accomplish?

Family Values, what else?

Well, what does family values mean to your average Christian Democrat?

Here's an example:  One of the strongholds of this party is the 'Caretaker subsidy.'

In Sweden daycare for kids 1-6 years old is highly subsidized. The cost of full time daycare is a maximum of about 150$ per month out of pocket. The Christian Democrats want the subsidy portion of the daycare (because obviously it costs more than this for the actual spot, that money just comes from the government) to go to stay- at- home moms or dads who decline a daycare spot. What that means is, if you work nights, but decide to not send your child to daycare – you can get 500$ a month from the government. If you feel you want to be a SAHM/D you can register to get the 500$ a month for your child. 

The Christian Democrats have managed to get their family values subsidy put into action in several municipalities across Sweden. Surprisingly, few families have actually taken the plunge and opted to take the subsidy. Most Swedish families have two working parents, and considering as an employee and a parent of an under 8 year old you have the right to decrease your hours from 40 – 30 per week without risk of losing your job, most people find another solution.

Do Swedes shower less than Americans?

OK, so I realize that the answer to the above question is 'No' or at least I am willing to make one of my usual broad assumptions that the answer is still 'No'. But I am trying to find a reason why the shampoo and conditioner bottles in this country are so miniscule.

In the past, I admit, shampoo has been something I stocked up on at Costco, because it was cheaper and a lot more convenient to fly back with 1 or 2 giant bottles of shampoo. And then we ended up bringing shampoo back for Swedish family members, because if you think it is rough for a family of two, imagine a family of 5, with three teenage girls, trying to keep everyone in shampoo for a week. That's a lot of little tiny bottles of shampoo.

But ever since the luggage restrictions have gotten stricter, shampoo and peanut butter were the easiest sacrifices to make. So, this weekend I found myself trying to find a decent size bottle of shampoo and it was a great big fail. I bypassed the grocery store and pharmacy and even tried Overskottsbolaget – but no. The largest I could find was still 8 oz of shampoo.

Even if I skip the Costco bottle and just go to CVS the average bottle of American shampoo is often double as big as the average Swedish one. The Costco bottle is 5 times as big.

I don't look at the price tags too much anymore (just too depressing) so I'd gladly pay more for a larger bottle, so I don't have to frantically try to get the bottom dregs of shampoo out of the bottle on such a frequent basis.

Come to think of it, this happens a lot with packaging of random household goods that families tend to need a lot of. And bigger packaging would be a hell of a lot more convenient. I'm not talking giant muffins here (tho that would be nice, too) I am talking larger cartons of milk – that would be great for families, too.

In Swedish they have a saying about something being an 'i-land problem' or a 'first world problem.' I do recognize that this very much falls into that category.  

Swenglish lesson: One Chocolate Muffins, Please

Ok, this is one of those things that still makes my hair stand on end when I go to a Swedish coffeeshop (that and the round bread with a hole in the middle they insist on calling bagels).

What you should know about Muffins when in Sweden:

1. You always order in the plural – even if you only want one – you want one 'muffins' (ETA - that would be 'en muffins' in Swedish)
2. A muffins is a cupcake is a muffins – there is one word for the two foods – don't let it trick you up. You know how eskimos have like 30 words for snow – well, we Americans seem to know our small breaded cakes.

If you are obsessed with muffins and cupcakes, like I am, you will find yourself spending way to much time trying to figure out and then trying to explain to people the difference between a cupcake or a muffin. It seems deceptively easy at first – but then you find the exception (can a muffin have frosting? Can a cupcake be bear?)– and then things get tricky.

I am particularly bitter because the Swedish Nigella – aka Leila – led me astray one Christmas with a beautiful recipe for Christmas Cupcakes. If you look at this recipe you will notice the confusion from the get go – She calls these 'Christmas Cupcakes' and underneath it says 'maffiga muffins.' 

But after watching the food orgy of her baking these delites, I decided to make them for a visiting group of Americans for dessert. They looked great, they smelled great, we all took a bite and, well, they were muffins – not cupcakes – and while they weren't bad, they weren't desserty goodness either.

Basically I just miss being able to order something and know what I am going to get. But viva la difference....