I’m still here. I am still pregnant. But as
the days tick by my ability to concentrate on anything other than how
uncomfortable I feel is quickly fading. That and fighting with a sick Little
Swede (well not really fighting more like plopping in front of the TV trying to
avoid feverish meltdowns) and having a house full of guests means that every
minute I have to myself I am hiding under the covers. And seriously those
minutes I don’t have to myself, you may also find me hiding under the covers.
Anyways, pregnancy terms seem to be
universally bizarre. In English, I could say that every day as of late begins
with the frantic hope that today will be ‘the bloody show,’ a beautiful term
for what is also referred to as losing your mucous plug – which is usually
foreshadowed by such endearing wonderful events like lightening crotch (just
what it sounds like) and Braxton Hicks – the feeling of carrying a bowling ball
around and then spilling pretty much everything you eat into your lap because
you constantly forget that your current diameter is so great.
But Sweden is not without its Pregnancy
vocabulary beauty – and the Swedes seem to do it much better.
1) Moderkaka – This is the Swedish word for
placenta – although placenta remains the medical term, so if you slip it in now
and then with a Swedish accent (as I have been known to do) they will
understand you. Moderkaka translates to Mother cookie, or Mother cake - if you are
one of those people who has ever actually managed to solve the mystery of kaka
vs. tårta.
2) Livmoderhalsen –The Throat of the Life
Mother is what the Swedes call the cervix. So much more hopeful and
optimistic. Oh please, throat of the
life mother, I hope all of these ‘sammandragningar’ or the drawing together of
my life mother (aka uterus) are productive enough to make you open. I am not sure what the word for effaced is,
so I don’t know how you would explain how effaced the throat is, but really the
Swedish midwives do not seem concerned about that at all.
3) Bröstvårt – After my baby arrives ---
hopefully today so it can share a birthday with my hero, Kyle Maclachlan, (The
Swede already said we could not name the baby Kyle or Maclachlan) – I will
immediately place them to my breast warts so as to develop a healthy
breastfeeding relationship. This one, for me, does not do as much visually as
cakes and life mothers. Breast warts sound a bit icky. But, hey, we’ve all go
them. So maybe they are not icky?
Also, I know my grammar is often lacking in
these posts, but please keep in mind that sleep has eluded me for the past
week. I cannot lie down anymore (except when maybe hiding under the covers),
and sitting around being pregnant is a terrible full time activity.
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