Summer Magic Jersey style

Last year I wrote about the magic of Swedish summer, and I stand by that and hope that Swedish summer is still waiting for me when I get home – but there remain a few things that Sweden still cannot offer – and so we are filling up on them in Jersey….

Some of these things may include:

Fireflies, giant watermelons, Old Fogey swims, Knock hockey, bagels, red sauce from our favorite Italian place, Korean snacks with my SIL, Friendly’s sundaes with huge amounts of Peanut butter sauce, craft beers purchased from Whole Foods in giant bottles, Pizza eaten by the slice, Mexican food, Dinner delivered to your front door, Jersey corn, Jersey tomatoes, unexpected gifts (including a 5 pound box of cheese), cupcakes with more frosting than cake, Dunkin Donuts, Dunkin Donuts coffee, 3 hour trip to Barnes and Noble, Breakfast all day at the diner, maple syrup and Belgian waffles, summer camp, trips to Costco, trips to Target, going to the mall at 8 pm when the kids are asleep, stocking up at outlets, introducing the Swede to Funions, teaching Little Swede the art of eating at restaurants, learning that 2 weeks is the amount of time for Little Swede to pick up on a Jersey accent (I swear while I do say ‘cawfee’ I certainly do NOT say ‘Caayht’ instead of cat(I don’t even know how to phonetically spell what he is doing with his soft A’s right now)), but basically just enjoying a full Jersey summer….  With all its 32 degree hot and humid, thunderstorm, cicada, wonder…..

American vs Swedish lunch

We are still in the US and we decided way back that it would be a good experience for Little Swede to go to summer camp. This has led to a plethora of questions from Swedes, mostly because I keep calling it the wrong word in Swedish – namely Sommarläger and not sommarkollo. Little Swede’s pediatric nurse was perplexed by the amount of forms we had to fill in for just a few hours of camp, but also fascinated and we had a long discussion on vaccinations and school relations. But that is a whole other story.

Summer camp has been good for Little Swede. But it has also led to the dilemma of the American packed lunch. Unlike his Swedish daycare, where lunch is included and all Little Swede’s special dietery needs met while keeping things about 90% organic, day camp (which costs about the equivalent of 4 months of Swedish full time daycare) requires packed lunch.

Little Swede has never eaten his own packed lunch. In Little Swede’s world sandwiches are openfaced and preferably covered with peanut butter. We are having morning cultural clashes with how to fit an open-faced sandwich in a plastic bag – something the Swede seems to believe is possible but of which I am highly skeptical.

Also Little Swede has never really had many prepackaged snacks, or much of any snack food at all.  I tried a few roasted chickpeas on day one (don’t make that face, chick peas are one of Little Swede’s favorite foods!) but we have settled on goldfish crackers.

And so, our little boy, who easily scarfs down three portions of school lunch (something I abhorred for most of my school life – we only had a cafeteria in high school anyway), is onlypicking at his packed lunch.

We have tried a variety of sandwiches. We have tried showing him how to open the baggies. He gets help from his counselors. But, he does not seem to enjoy a packed lunch. We tried purple colored Kefir, but really he only seems to eat the package of fruit I send him with every day (see how well Swedish schools have taught him!) 

Swedish Dads vs. American Dads

I've been a bad blogger. I've missed blogging about the high holiday of Sweden, Midsummer. All I can say is, it was good. Now we are in the US doing summer US style - hot and humid, cicadas singing, summer camp and really loud TV advertisements.

Maybe its a new trend, maybe its an old trend. Maybe it's that I now have Netflix on my computer that I watch while nursing Our newest Swede, I don't know. But I have been seeing a lot more ads lately. And a lot more ads where American Dads get a really bad rap. (That is probably American dads, but that grammar rule always drives me nuts).

Anywho.....

The fact is that in reality I see American Dads being active Dads everywhere here. They are at the playground, they are changing diapers, they are wiping tears. But just like women are left being really excited about cleaning the kitchen on American TV, the latest thing seems to be Dads left being completely helpless when faced with an infant.

Here is a sad example.

Here American Dad has no role to play at all while baby is born. His first job has something to do with a car seat. The Swede says meeting his child for the first time was a life changing moment for him. Not so for this poor guy.....

Thankfully, on further research the other ad I saw that I thought made Dad look totally worthless was actually an Uncle --- which is a little better. But still, why is it always men bumbling around babies? I had no idea what to do with an infant until I had one of my own.

It’s been summer

Sorry. I have definitely been Swedified enough so that when the sun is out, I am out, too. Little Swede has been running around swimming in fountains. Littlest Swede has been sleeping all over town. We’ve been eating Princess tårta for Swedish National day (I’ll save that for another post), and sitting in the courtyard drinking near-beer since we never have time to get to Systembolaget to buy the real thing.

If you have ever lived in Sweden for any length you know, when the weather gets good, you get out of your house. You never know how long it will last. The rain could come in 5 minutes. 

Swedishness

This little video made the rounds during Eurovision about what it means to be Swedish. It captures a lot of the little stereotypes quite well.

(Also, I can admit that I just skipped Eurovision altogether this year. Sure, I could have blogged about it and upped my hits, but that would have meant watching it. And, well, when there was only ONE Eurovision it was watchable and made a fun drinking game, but now that there are three? Not so much)

You can catch the video here –

Spoiler alert – My one objection contains the highlight of the video – where Prime Minister Reinfeldt makes an appearance. This scene is WAY too confrontational for Sweden. Instead someone would have left a note by the dishes saying something like “The Prime Minister’s Mother does not work here!” or “How can you run a country and not be able to wash dishes?” 

Giving birth in Sweden: Pain management Part II

In my first post on Pain management during birth in Sweden I posted about my experiences with the pain management I decided to go with. But there are several interventions I decided to forgo and here is a little about them and why I opted out.

Acupuncture – At our hospital all of the midwives are trained in acupuncture and they offer it as a regular pain management technique for birth. You are invited to meet with them ahead of time and try the treatment out. I have had this technique recommended to me by several friends who declare the ‘Whiskey stick’ as it is often mistranslated into English or ‘the Whiskey needle’ which, thanks to this mistranslation, I often picture as the size of a small branch, is indeed wonderful. This needle is inserted somewhere into the back of your head and is supposed to release tons of endorphins and feel good vibes.

I have done acupuncture before and surprisingly found it incredibly relaxing. The first time I ever did it I felt like I was high. But I decided when going into labor I did not want anyone coming at me with a needle unless it was going to be full of drugs. Acupuncture for running injuries is fine. But if you are going to be sticking a giant needle into me to alleviate pain it is going to be an epidural – I am not as crunchy as I once believed.

The paddles – Actually I have no idea what this torture device is called in English, but I will call it a torture device since it sounds appalling. This is when they insert pockets of hot water under your skin (yes UNDER your skin) to, again, release endorphins in your body. Or cause you extreme pain elsewhere. Or I don’t know what. I know I thought TENS sounded ridiculous before I tried it, and I am pretty sure TENS worked solely as a concentration method, but keep your body modification techniques away from my body while I am trying to give birth without medication. Seriously, I think the other alternative should be ‘The vice grip’ tightening your hand in a vice until you release endorphins and all of your focus is on your damn hand rather than your painful contractions.

Hypnosis – The biggest bonus about hypnosis? No needles! My hospital has a trained hypnotist on staff and access to listen to hypnosis CDs in the birthing room. I have actually done a lot of hypnosis over the years and regularly use hypnosis as a relaxation technique to handle stress. But labor is not stress. It is labor. There was this time I got the chicken pox at an age where it was pretty damn devastating, and a trained hypnotist could not keep me from itching. I just could not concentrate. I was too nervous to rely on hypnotism as my main form of pain control although I did use some relaxation techniques at the beginning. And way too many of the birth hypnosis CDs stress the idea of labor not being painful and only thinking positive thoughts --- and that just does not mesh with my ‘oh crap this hurts – but I am tough enough to get thru this’ mentality.

Overall I can see why 2/3 of these techniques are appealing, but really don’t get the paddles at all. Those are the main options my hospital offers. If I am missing something (or if you LOVED the paddles) let me know!

Everyone says ‘I love you’ no one says ‘Jag älskar dig’

Pretty much every time I speak with my parents the phone conversation ends with us all saying ‘I love you.’ Except for these days when they usually end with one child in tears and me running off saying ‘got my hands full talk later’ or something like that before Little Swede has a chance to click on ‘the red telephone.’

But even with all that, there is a lot of ‘I love you.’

I don’t think I have ever heard the Swede’s parents say ‘Jag älskar dig’ to him. Not once. Not that I have ever doubted they love their kid. They certainly show it in many other ways. But through all the weddings and funerals and family ups and downs I have not heard an audible ‘I love you’.

This surprises me in many ways. I know Swedes are not as gregarious with their feelings as we Americans. I get that. But as a parent, I cannot for the life of me imagine not telling my child I love them several times a day. And just in case I forget, I always tell them one more time before they go to bed.

Little Swede is learning about this at the moment. He openly declares his love for me, The Swede, the newest Swede (still working on a blog name for the little guy) and everyone else in the family. But he also declares his love for the guy who delivers the advertising foldouts on the weekend (‘He looks so happy! I love him and his stripey jacket – were the exact words), a new brand of diapers, and Dora & Diego. (See? He is American, too!)

I am very happy to hear The Swede has gotten into the habit of saying ‘Jag älskar dig’ during bedtime routine, and Little Swede and his sidekick will grow up hearing they are well loved in two languages.

I know that actions speak louder than words, and far outweigh them. But I also am a firm believer that these little words say so much – especially to little ears. I cannot stop telling my boys how much I both love them and älska dem.