What? You want to get off the train? But I'm getting on here!

I wrote earlier about Swedes systematic line forming – with the help of numbers. Organizing lines tends to be quite quick and cutting is avoided using this wise system.

However, a problem occurs with impromptu lines – even though they are easily anticipated lines.

One great example of this is what occurs pretty much every time a train stops at a major train station. As the train pulls in, the people on the platform head for the door. They create a giant mass that encircles every door and push to position themselves so as to be one of the first to enter the train.

Then, the strangest thing happens. The doors to the train open, and, surprise of all surprises, people want to get off the train. The ring of awaiting passengers looks perplexed. Do they move to the side to let these passengers off, and risk losing their prime position for boarding the train?

Often the person closest to the line of fire, the one who risks being trampled in the ensuing melee, the one directly opposite the door, will back down and move to the left or right. This leaves a tiny opening for the passengers aboard the train to push through the crowd.

The remaining people, refusing to move and give up there space in the line, roll their eyes, look at the ground, and grunt with annoyance, at the people that have decided to get off at the stop they have been spending the last minute trying to leave.

The doors to the train are often wide enough for two rows of passengers to exit or enter. When the line of people exiting the train trickles down to only one passenger wide, those passengers who have been waiting on the 'correct' side, will push their way on to the train while others continue to disembark. This creates a lot of dirty looks from those getting on and off the train. Some might even mumble under their breath. But rarely will it go so far that anyone has to talk to each other.

Despite the fact that most train travellers in Sweden take the train on a daily basis, they still seem utterly surprised by the fact that there are often passengers that want to get off the train.

So if you want to be like the Swedes, as soon as the train arrives, push your way as close as possible to the door and then refuse to move anywhere but onto the train. But if you just want to keep the peace, it is often easiest to wait until the crowd has subsided and board the train. The conductor will not leave until all the passengers have boarded the train. The only thing you risk is losing a seat, and if there are many people trying to exit the trian, chances are you will still get one!

A Very Swedish Christmas - The first of advent

A Very Swedish Christmas – The first of Advent

December in Sweden is quite fantastic. Christmas gets everyone out of the November dumps and into a much cheerier mindset – if you can manage to overlook the shopping chaos. And given the reports of a booming and fully recovered economy- it will be true shopping chaos again this year.

Although many Christmas trees and decorations are set up before the start of Advent, it is the first of Advent which is the official starting line for the Christmas season. All the houses get out their advent candles, electric candalabras, stars in the windows – and now more often than ever before, outdoor lighting displays (although not as gregarious as the US).

Given that we now only get about 6-7 hours of sunlight per day, the extra lighting is almost a necessity.

For the kiddies – there is the advent calander tv-show and a small present per day. For the grownups it means the start of the Christmas Smorgasbord, the beginning of the Glogg, and the first gingerbread of the season. There are many traditions that remain truly Swedish, and I will try to touch on many of them here during the next month.

But the first of Advent is celebrated by a tree lighting ceremony in many city centres – a Christmas market (smaller than many of the German traditional markets – and thanks to Swedish policy – without the booze). It is also one of the biggest days of church attendance during the year – often more people go to church for the start of Advent than on Christmas eve.

Here it really does feel like Christmas – we've got half a foot of snow on the ground, it's below freezing out, and it is absolutely breathtaking. But I'm still not ready to bet on a white Christmas.

Swedish Celebrities: ABBA

OK, so they are the obvious choice. But ABBA is a national pride. And are as Swedish as apple pie (which Swedes will tell you is 100% Swedish).

Benny, Bjorn, Anni-Frid, and Agnetha have all paid king's ransoms to the Swedish government in taxes over the last few decades – and they are one of the few groups who haven't reunited to go on one last 'rake it all in' tour. They have only been spotted together briefly. The reluctance to reunite may be linked to their former marital status – and the fact that half of their profits would go directly to the Swedish state.

While ABBA is a mainstay at many gay clubs throughout the English speaking countries – here in Sweden you can still hear the ABBA classics blasted at nightclubs aimed at the under 25 and any sexual orientation set. Not to mention it often gets dragged out at private parties after midnite and a couple of rounds of drinks. This behaviour reached a peak after the release of Mama Mia – the movie. That midsummer was an ABBA fest extroadinaire.

And Swedes of most ages still have at least one ABBA CD in their collection – or on the ipod. Not to mention they know every word to Dancing Queen and sing Happy New Year proudly, every new year.

ABBA also represents a great Swedish victory at Eurovision songcontest – this Euopean dinosaur has no American equivalent – although it probably should. The Swedish foursome won Eurovision with their hit Waterloo. Sweden is still trying to figure out the magic formula to win Eurovision this decade, and are exceedingly proud of their former Eurovision champions.

Every year at Eurovision time we are treated to images of ABBA taking the stage and winning the hearts and minds of first Europe and then the world.

I had a friend who used to say 'There is a reason why the USA gave us blues music and Sweden gave us ABBA.” And I think that is a pretty fair statement on the situation.

Swedish Politics 101 - The Moderates

For the last four years, the Moderates have been at the helm of the Swedish government. And not so long ago, they won the Swedish public's vote of approval for another term. So who are they and what do they want?

The Moderates are led by current prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt. And they are about as right wing as you get in Sweden – politcally. So if we compare to the American model, the Moderates are the Republicans of Swedish government. Except that, in Sweden, even the Moderates fall far left of any American party.

Although I am pretty sure in his own head, Reinfeldt would like to be able to see himself as a Swedish Ronald Reagan, in truth, Barak Obama looks more like Reagan than Reinfeldt. Basically, the Moderates seem to support some type of less interfering, smaller government, lower taxes, less spending, etc. The problem is, this is Sweden.

But let's take a look at some of the policies the Moderates have passed in the last four years. It should give you a sense of where they stand. 

• Sold the government owned portion of Absolut vodka (quite a controversial move – as Absolut is a cash cow for the Swedish government)
• Demonopolized Apoteket – the nationally controlled pharmacy in Sweden
• No more property tax – only a max payment of 6,000 sek per year to the county (depending on value of home) (Yes, New Jersey, there is no property tax in Sweden!)
• Reduced unemployment benefits (so now several states in the US offer better unemployment)
• Reduced sick leave benefits – limited time on sick leave

The list goes on, but I think the above indicates a bit about what the party is about anyway. 

And not to make things TOO confusing, but here in Sweden the right wing is represented by the blue color, and the left wing by the red. Remember the Commies are the reds.

Oh, and did you notice that bit about no property tax – and still getting all those crazy socialist benefits?

Parenting tip #3 - Babies sleep better in the cold

Back when I lived in NYC there was the famous story of the Danish couple who left their baby in a stroller outside some restaurant. The couple was arrested for child abuse and the child taken away. In the days that followed the couple claimed that this was a common Danish tradition and they leave their child outside in Copenhagen. So why not NYC? 

To which all of us New Yorkers answered, 'well because it's NYC stupid.'

OK, This blog is not about  Denmark, but this behaviour is really common here in Sweden. Even in the midst of snow fall, and freezing temperatures, countless people leave their babies outside while napping. Why? Because, babies sleep better in the cold.

If you walk around my neighborhood – a bunch of hideous newly built houses (more on that later) with tons of young families - you will probably see a good 20 -30 SUV strollers parked outside in the snow. And if you don't have a house, you can always let your baby sleep out on the balcony. Seriously.

Despite this trend of leaving your baby outside – I cannot say that I have heard of a single babynapping in the years I have lived here. There have been freak accidents. There was a baby who was smothered to death by a cat in Sweden. A bunch of hooligans flipped over a baby into the snow in Finland, but the Mom found the baby shortly thereafter and everyone was fine. And if we go back to the Danes, a bicycle was stolen with a baby-carrying device attached to it. There was a baby sleeping in this device. The bicycle thief realized this a few blocks later and abandoned the bike. Baby was returned safely.

This might be enough to stop you from every letting your baby sleep outside – but when you think of how many babies are doing this around here – and how few accidents you read about – it seems pretty safe. I mean, bad things can happen anywhere, right?

I can tell you my little one is a horrible sleeper. But I haven't yet resorted to sticking him out in the snow and hoping it will help. Maybe I should try it one of these days?

Take a number!

OK, so Swedes hate standing in line. Which I totally understand. But since it is impossible to get rid of lines all together, and still get anything done, they have found away around this. They instead insist you take a number and wait until your number is called.

They do this everywhere. At the bakery, at the bank, at the train station, at Cervera to buy Royal Copenhagen stuff, at the cheese shop. You take your little number and wait. This can often be a useful solution. If the weather is nice and the sign is big enough, you can wait outside until your number is called. Or you can browse around, until it is your turn.

The trouble is when you don't realize the store has a number system. You wait and push your way up to the counter. That is when the sales person refuses to speak with you, and just points to the number sign on the wall. Then you have to search frantically for the number dispensing machine, which can be hard to find.

Occasionally there is solidarity in numbers. Someone decides they don't need their number, so they pass it on instead of throwing it away. Someone accidently takes two numbers, and passes one on to the next shopper. It is one of the few times I have seen Swedes who don't have to interact with each other, volunteer to interact with each other.

It used to be that Systembolaget – the Swedish socialist alcohol monopoly – used the number system to dispense all of the alcohol in the country. It was quite a way to spend a Friday evening. They kept all of the booze behind the counter. You filled in a little slip with your order, and they picked the alcohol for you from their warehouse. These days the Systembolaget is still a socialist alcohol monopoly, but they have instead filled their stores with good old fashioned capitalist shelves. They allow you to pick your booze yourself, in the glory of flourescent watt lighting, and wait in a regular line to purchase it.

Before heading to the counter, check for ticket dispensing machines and a screen displaying numbers.

Swenglish tip #2 - Fika

When I first heard the term fika, I was in love. Mostly because I had confused the words fika and ficka. One is pronounsed 'feeka' and the other is pronounced 'ficka'

A fika, or feeka, is a Swedish national pasttime – the coffeebreak. Ficka is a pocket. For a long time I thought that it was a beautiful metaphor – the coffeebreak as a pocket of time, a break in the day where you can sit around cozily and do nothing productive.

It turns out it wasn't a metaphor – but fika is a great tradition nonetheless. Many foreigners end up adapting the word into English - 'Shall we fika?' works well.

To fika can be a challenge for Americans. It goes against our instincts of multitasking with a giant latte in hand. To fika you must grab a cup of coffee from either the communal pot – or the coffee shop. And depending on where you are you grab a corresponding pastry or half of a roll with a slice of cheese. There will often be a piece of cucumber or pepper on your roll.

Then you and your colleagues or friends sit around and discuss topics like 'the eastern European conspiracy to win Eurovision,' the unfairness of the football games that got Sweden thrown out of what ever championship is currently being played, or political strife in any other country but Sweden.

The truth is, in Sweden, you MUST fika. I tried to avoid it. It drove me crazy when I would show up at the office, look at the pile of things to do on my desk, turn to my colleagues and we would all go 'agh SOO much work to do!' and then they would go off and sit around drinking coffee and talking crap for 30 minutes. And they would shoot me the worst looks while I tried to start working right away.

So to keep the peace, I do both the 9am fika and the 3pm fika. And I highly recommend you do the same.