Grocery Shopping in Sweden: Please, Cashier, let me do your job for you.

OK full disclosure before this post:

1. The Swede claims I made this whole thing up 
2. I worked briefly as a cashier at a grocery store while in high school, so I am speaking from experience
3. This is one of those little 'Swedish' things that drives me insane

It took me years to figure out why it is that the Swedish little sticks you use to separate your groceries from the next-person-in-line's all have text that reads 'Please place the barcode so that it faces you.' But after a rude comment from a Systembolaget cashier I figured it out, and my life has never been the same.

Basically what Swedish grocery stores and Systembolaget would like you to do is to place all of your items so that the barcode is facing outwards towards you, so that the machine can scan it. The idea behind this is a kind one – it can be tiring to a cashier to lift and rotate all of the goods to scan the bar code. But the result is one that sometimes makes my blood boil.

Here is a typical scenario for me (note: The Swede claims never to have experienced such a happening): I choose the grocery line which appears it might be the fastest. But then the person in front of me, with a cart half full of groceries, turns out to be the considerate type. By this I mean they pull out every item from their cart, examine it, find the barcode and place it in a row one item wide, on the belt. Needless to say, this takes FOREVER. The cashier has usually caught up to them by the time they are one-third of the way through their cart. And the customer places and the cashier scans, as slow as molasses, one item at a time.

When I worked as a cashier, from experience, you know where the bar codes are. You just twist and zoom and it's over. You are on to the next customer. It is quick and efficient because you don't have to study each object.

I know I am being selfish in demanding speedy service over the health consequences for my cashier. But I don't really understand why I need to do their job for them? I mean isn't that why they are there? If you don't want to become obsolete with all the new technology, don't you have to do something? I mean here in Sweden no one bags your groceries, and if no one even scans your groceries, what is the point?

So, no I don't line up my groceries, not even at Systembologet (but there it is more passive-agressive principles). And I really wish more people took a stand with me (and maybe the cashiers could have a monthly massage like they do at other companies or something?)

Get up, Stand up, Stand up for Other People's Rights!

One of the things that most defined being between the ages of 16-25, for me, (and I will admit to feeling the occasional urging since then) was the ability to jump at any excuse to to grab a great big sign and protest against the government, a university president, a big evil company doing experiments on monkeys, anything. 

And so when I moved to Sweden there were many times I felt – 'Man if I only had a placard, I would go to town.' I had fantasies of standing outside of Systembolaget (the state-owned liqour store) with a giant 'Stop the Madness' sign and suddenly finding myself surrounded by others who didn't want to order their foreign exotic beers 3 days in advance, chanting and eventually overturning the powers that be.

But pretty soon I learned that only very very rarely did Swedes actually protest against their own government, and only much much later did I figure out that most Swedes have a secret enduring fondness for Systembolaget.

Swedes are GREAT at protesting things that happen in other countries. Every Saturday you can usually find someone waving a sign in my local square protesting the Israeli occupation of Palestine, the US occupation of Iraq/Afganistan, the current regime in Iran. When Bush came to visit there were actual shots fired in the streets. But not really anything that has a direct effect on the state in which we live.

The only issue that brings out the Swedish students with any degree of certainty is racism. This is one of the only real perks of the Swedish Democrats (the racist party – yes I said it, because I think they are) getting elected. On opening day of the new parliament, there were actually some protesters there. 

In our area there have been some pretty nice student-driven 'lack-of-housing' protests, with squatters, marching and lots of sign waving. But this has been against the local government, not against the folks up top.

I have always wondered - is this because everyone is just so thrilled to bits with the performance of the Swedish government? Or is it because they feel their voice will just never be heard? I have gotten both as answers when I've posited this question to Swedes.

So there ya go, now that Apotek has fallen (the pharmacy state-run monoply), Systembolaget has to be next. Who's up for picketing?

Take a number!

OK, so Swedes hate standing in line. Which I totally understand. But since it is impossible to get rid of lines all together, and still get anything done, they have found away around this. They instead insist you take a number and wait until your number is called.

They do this everywhere. At the bakery, at the bank, at the train station, at Cervera to buy Royal Copenhagen stuff, at the cheese shop. You take your little number and wait. This can often be a useful solution. If the weather is nice and the sign is big enough, you can wait outside until your number is called. Or you can browse around, until it is your turn.

The trouble is when you don't realize the store has a number system. You wait and push your way up to the counter. That is when the sales person refuses to speak with you, and just points to the number sign on the wall. Then you have to search frantically for the number dispensing machine, which can be hard to find.

Occasionally there is solidarity in numbers. Someone decides they don't need their number, so they pass it on instead of throwing it away. Someone accidently takes two numbers, and passes one on to the next shopper. It is one of the few times I have seen Swedes who don't have to interact with each other, volunteer to interact with each other.

It used to be that Systembolaget – the Swedish socialist alcohol monopoly – used the number system to dispense all of the alcohol in the country. It was quite a way to spend a Friday evening. They kept all of the booze behind the counter. You filled in a little slip with your order, and they picked the alcohol for you from their warehouse. These days the Systembolaget is still a socialist alcohol monopoly, but they have instead filled their stores with good old fashioned capitalist shelves. They allow you to pick your booze yourself, in the glory of flourescent watt lighting, and wait in a regular line to purchase it.

Before heading to the counter, check for ticket dispensing machines and a screen displaying numbers.