Why the Nielsens would hate Sweden

One of the things that still sometimes surprises me about living in Sweden is the smooth and subtle way that radio stations, TV shows, and other media forms seem to come and go in the wink of an eye.

See, I have dim memories of the US mayhem of a TV show moving to a new slot in which you would be bombarded with commercials for weeks at a time 'Law & Order Traffic Cops is Moving to Monday nights this May,' 'Don't miss LOTC at it's new time, Monday's at 9 this May,' followed by a series of newspaper articles about whether or not the moving of LOTC to Monday nights indicates an attempt of the network to perform stronger against another network, or a sign that LOTC is on its way out the door.

But in Sweden? Let's say you watched the first 2 episodes of LOTC on Tuesday nights. Then you might be hanging out a month later going 'Hey, whatever happened to that show LOTC?' And then you realize either you missed that it had moved to Monday nights, or there was a handball championship that took that slot for a few weeks, or it just went on one of the typical mid-season two month hiatus which they like to call 'the end of the season'.

So last weekend, The Swede and I were treated to some great news when we flipped on the TV after LO finally went to sleep. There was a screen that announced that we were no longer getting MTV in our house – unless we wanted to pay extra. And then, as I sat down to write this blog entry, I realized we got a new TV channel in its place. This strange Channel 11 – which appears to be a channel where reality TV shows go where they die.

Did we know anything about this? No. Was there anything anywhere that said this was happening? Not even our cable company sent us anything.

I did a quick search for Channel 11 and even the internets don't seem to have heard about it.

I don't really mind these little eccentricities in Swedish television land – despite the fact that I blog so much about it, I really don't watch that much TV and the shows I do like I make sure I catch elsewhere – so I don't have to stress about making sure I am anywhere at a certain day/time.

Swedes sure do love MasterKock!

Sometimes as a scholar, an anthropologist or even as an overly generalizing blogger you make some silly and strange comparisons. You stretch a little to get your facts to line up better, your statistics to make sense, and to gain a little clarity. (Not that I would ever do ANY of the above in any scholarly work, of course)

So this is a stretch, but bear with me here. Because I notice lately there has been an absolute abundance of Masterchef on Swedish TV. You may think 'how odd you would notice such a thing.' Which is odd, I admit. It's just that this time last year, I was nursing a little one around the clock – and thus spending a lot of time on the sofa – and let me tell you, there was practically nothing but Masterchef – the English version. I watched episode after episode of this strange TV show (no, there was nothing else on thanks for asking, and yes I also read like 4 books a week during this time, so no I wasn't better off reading a book). I would often lose track and realize during the last five minutes of an episode that I had indeed watched this episode the day before. And while I realize this is a sad commentary on my state of mind it was indeed the state of things.

This week I had the flu. And thanks to my helpful Swede, I spent most of the week on the sofa – reunited with my long lost love – British Masterchef. 

Now one of the fateful flaws of this odd TV show is the fact that they switch the contestants so often that you lose track of their backstory and stop caring about anyone at all. (I know this because I am obsessed with other cooking reality TV shows like Top Chef). So last night after watching what seemed like 8 hours of Masterchef in a row, but was probably only 2, I was surprised to find that the American Masterchef was playing on yet another channel. Well, leave it to my people to solve what I felt was the tragic flaw of Masterchef, by uniting one giant cast, but then shooting themselves in the foot by making Gordon Ramsey the judge. Seriously, how does he even have time for this stuff?

And then, drumroll please, I saw the ad for the upcoming version of Swedish MasterKock! Starting next week, with that weird Swedish actor guy, Per Morberg, who has a cooking show, as the judge.

Which brings me to the main point of this post – which if you made it this far – thank you! And that is Kock/Cook remains  the most dangerous word for me to say in Swedish – because it just feels wrong at all costs. If I say it correctly and say 'Du ar en bra kock' – or you are a good cook, it sounds funny. If I say 'Du ar en bra cook' it sounds right to my ears, but makes any good Swede giggle, as I've just told them they are a good cock. So be careful out there – and as you can tell – my cold hasn't quite left me yet.