And the Winner of Eurovision 2012 is? A flashback to 90’s Eurodisco meets Madonna!

Fingers crossed this will be the headline in May, because Sweden has chosen their representative song for Eurovision 2012, the fabulous Loreen and her song Euphoria.

Last year for this blog I made an attempt at watching the endless Swedish quest for picking the Eurovision entry song. This process is a series of finals and semifinals and superspecial guests and songwriters and endless endless musical torture.

This year I pretended it wasn’t happening. I just wasn’t prepared to be so masochistic as to watch the whole thing.

So today, I took a peek at the winner on youtube. Sadly, I couldn’t make it through the entire video, but here is my rather unprofessional review of the selection.

Plusses –

Wind machine – Loreen makes good use of a wind machine. This has proved to be essential to many a past Eurovision winner, including the queen herself, Carola.

Female – I know it is a stereotype, but I stand by the belief that the rest of Europe really likes Swedish ladies, and they would be more prone to vote for a Swedish lady then a Swedish male (remember, the rest of Europe is far behind Sweden when it comes to being feminist friendly) (See examples: The Ark and that Las Vegas song)

Nostalgia vibe  - What is up with that beat? It is a terrible reminder of 1990’s Eurodisco and her dancing reminds me of an old Madonna video on the beach in a similar outfit. Terrible to some of us, but nostalgia vibe is a great way of capturing votes across Europe since it doesn’t just focus on a Scandinavian sound.

Negatives –

Costume – I don’t mean to be catty about clothing, but since Eurovision is about costume, what is up with Loreen’s outfit? It is very unflattering for her figure. Why is it cut down to show the fact that she has no cleavage to show?

Not blonde – Europe would probably be all over this if Loreen were blonde, remember, playing to Swedish stereotypes can be a positive in Eurovision, since Europe likes the Swedish ladies.

No dance troupe? The act is pretty simple, and the dancing seems a little awkward. There is no huge production number, which might be a negative for Loreen.

I think this will be a good representative for Sweden in Eurovision this May. I look forward to reading all of the trash talk in the months to come! (Eastern European Conspiracy Unite!)

You can see the Eurovision entry here:

The Flu

Still here - just camped out at home with the flu slowly making the rounds through the family. Will be back when I can string a thought together. Tried to come up with a witty post about the lack of flu shots given to us 'youngins' in Sweden, but have no wit at the moment. Hope everyone else is feeling healthy!

Perhaps the best thing about Sweden?

OK, you know what one of the most awesome things about living in Sweden is? Seriously?

NO SALMONELLA!

Why does that matter? - you might be wondering.

Because today I baked cookies with Little Swede and we could totally enjoy liking the bowl. And let me tell you, we went to town.

Butter, sugar, a little vanilla and two eggs. Yum.

Yes, there is practically no Salmonella in Sweden. If there is a Salmonella outbreak, the animals are usually ‘taken care of’ quickly and the outbreak is reported in the national papers.

This might be thanks to Astrid Lindgren and her early quests to support chickens and set up strict rules for caring for chickens in Sweden. Or it may just be to very careful conditions. I don’t know.

But I do know I enjoy it. And I think it really should be an eye opener to the rest of the world - it is possible to mass produce eggs from healthy chickens. 

Swedish sourdough bread – the ultimate sign of luxury

For many an American, the word socialism conjures up pictures of the old-school communist bread lines, people waiting hours to cash in their bread coupons for a loaf.

In Sweden these days, you might see such a bread line, but it’s not what you think.

Swedish sourdough bread is the ultimate in trendy food goodness in Sweden at the moment. It’s bigger than ever.  Although, as I am often late to the game, I think that some foodies might declare sourdough bread sooooo 2010, whatever.

Mostly I am very enthusiastic about the new found popularity of sourdough bread in Sweden. It means I can finally admit that if I really have to choose between fluffy yummy thick crusted white bread and that Pågan brand ‘lingon’ loaf which tastes like cardboard when toasted (though I admit, for some reason I was totally in love with it circa 2006) I would choose the white bread every single time, yes even if it is white bread and completely lacking any nutrition whatsoever.

I love bread. If I have to choose between candy and bread, I would choose bread. If I have to choose between chocolate and bread, I would choose bread. You get the picture.

That said, Swedish sourdough bread is getting silly, to say the least. At one local bakery they charge 12 dollars per loaf. Yes, per loaf. OK, so the loaf is like the length of my arm and as thick as my thigh, but still, it’s just flour, some bacteria and water.

Also, currently, there are three local TOP SECRET sourdough bakeries. To get their breads, you have to be in the know and on ‘the list.’ You then get an SMS telling you when there is bread available and it is first come first serve chaos. Who cares that the bakers are actually two nursing assistants who have adopted a new hobby? Apparently they are good and better than that, they are obscure.

So while I am incredibly grateful for the new trend in bread baking in Sweden, because it means a little more to choose from at the grocery store, I think things are getting a little crazy with the sourdough trend.

And, yes, I have many times thought ‘Oh, I’m totally going to do that sourdough starter thing this week,’ but it hasn’t happened, yet. 

A princess is born - and Pappa Prince's feelings are 'All over the place'

Father of the newly born Swedish Prince, the people's prince, Daniel Westerling announced the birth of his daughter in a press conference yesterday and it was adorable and sweet. Daniel Westerling won the hearts of many a Swede during the royal wedding and the love affair is alive and well.

But the part I liked best was when Daniel described his feelings as 'All over the place' in English. 

Yes, Daniel, I totally agree with you. Swedish is a damn hard language to express your feelings in - English is so much more feeling friendly.

Nah, I don't know if this is really true, I am a firm believer that it is usually easier to express your emotions in your own language - because otherwise the words just don't feel good enough. And maybe, this time around, Daniel really just didn't have the words in any language.

Emotions and language - it is a struggle

Little Swede, the other night, when he crashed into the dog for the third time with his Brio walking cart and had it promptly taken away by his own Pappa, had a small breakdown. Halfway through he whimpered out 'Little Swede Ledsen' or roughly translated 'Little Swede sad'

Ok, truth be told, The Swede and I both went a little heart-broken at this announcement. And although we were already hugging him, we hugged a little tighter.

And then I thought, wow, he is already talking about his feelings in Swedish. I hope having two languages from the beginning will help him to be able to feel comfortable in expressing his emotions in both languages. 

A princess is born – Swedes declare themselves Republican

If you bring up the topic of American politics with a Swede, chances are they will bristle at the mention of the word Republican. They think George W. Bush, death penalty and Christian right. Fair enough, so do I.

But today the Princess of Sweden gave birth to a Princess. Yay! This means for the first time a Swedish queen will be followed by a Swedish queen, if everybody lives happily ever after.

The birth was uneventful, at least according to the newspapers. Princess Victoria went in around midnight last night and she is already home with her daughter. Congrats to the new Royal family.

But this morning led to a ton of man on the street interviews of people declaring themselves ‘Republicans.’ By that they don’t mean right wing political leaning, no, they mean they don’t want a Queen at all.

I’ve never seen so many Swedes call themselves Republicans in one go. It did make me laugh, but I have to say that I often agree with them. Considering all of the time people spend complaining immigrants are draining the system, the royal family certainly lives a lot better than most of us immigrants combined, and they do it all on the state dime.

That said, I hope the royals are enjoying their new edition and making the best out of all of my tax money.

Dear Hemmakväll - a note on mocking Americans in Swedish advertisements

I know we Americans can sometimes sound very silly when speaking Swedish. I get it. One guy in my beginner Swedish class pronounced Sverige like Svarage - as in rhymes with Faberge - and he would not change it.

Fine.

Mock us. I am totally OK with that. I could live with the blå kläder commercial with the guy saying 'blah klahder' haha.

It doesn't always make me think of the time I was 10 years old and was visiting a friend in a Swedish school and the teacher (yes you, Ingemar) made me read out loud from a Swedish textbook in front of the class while everyone laughed. Most of the time it reminds me of that, but not always.

And I do LOVE the Tele2 commercials which make fun of the sheep/cheap issue many Swedes have, so I can totally take that some people take digs at Americans pronunciation of Swedish. Really I do.

But Hemmakväll - you have it wrong. All wrong. And it makes me yell at the radio every time your stupid commercial comes on the air.

See, the American pronouncing the Swedish calls Hemmakväll -Hemmakwell.

Let's be serious here. No self respecting American who doesn't know Swedish would pronounce Hemmakväll - Hemmakwell. They would probably say something like Hemmakvall. That's it. As in Hemmakvaahhhlll. Because we don't understand the ä, but we totally understand how the V works.

 It is the W that we sometimes mispronounce because in English W always says wah and never vah.

Seriously Hemmakväll it isn't funny it is just annoying.

You can listen to it here, but be warned, the stupid hemmakwell moment comes at the end, after a long string of bad acting and unnecessary profanity.

I used to feel bad for Hemmakväll because I am pretty sure movie rental will be obsolete in about 5 years, and it's been about 3 since I have last rented a film. But now I don't feel so bad.