A princess is born – Swedes declare themselves Republican

If you bring up the topic of American politics with a Swede, chances are they will bristle at the mention of the word Republican. They think George W. Bush, death penalty and Christian right. Fair enough, so do I.

But today the Princess of Sweden gave birth to a Princess. Yay! This means for the first time a Swedish queen will be followed by a Swedish queen, if everybody lives happily ever after.

The birth was uneventful, at least according to the newspapers. Princess Victoria went in around midnight last night and she is already home with her daughter. Congrats to the new Royal family.

But this morning led to a ton of man on the street interviews of people declaring themselves ‘Republicans.’ By that they don’t mean right wing political leaning, no, they mean they don’t want a Queen at all.

I’ve never seen so many Swedes call themselves Republicans in one go. It did make me laugh, but I have to say that I often agree with them. Considering all of the time people spend complaining immigrants are draining the system, the royal family certainly lives a lot better than most of us immigrants combined, and they do it all on the state dime.

That said, I hope the royals are enjoying their new edition and making the best out of all of my tax money.

Dear Hemmakväll - a note on mocking Americans in Swedish advertisements

I know we Americans can sometimes sound very silly when speaking Swedish. I get it. One guy in my beginner Swedish class pronounced Sverige like Svarage - as in rhymes with Faberge - and he would not change it.

Fine.

Mock us. I am totally OK with that. I could live with the blå kläder commercial with the guy saying 'blah klahder' haha.

It doesn't always make me think of the time I was 10 years old and was visiting a friend in a Swedish school and the teacher (yes you, Ingemar) made me read out loud from a Swedish textbook in front of the class while everyone laughed. Most of the time it reminds me of that, but not always.

And I do LOVE the Tele2 commercials which make fun of the sheep/cheap issue many Swedes have, so I can totally take that some people take digs at Americans pronunciation of Swedish. Really I do.

But Hemmakväll - you have it wrong. All wrong. And it makes me yell at the radio every time your stupid commercial comes on the air.

See, the American pronouncing the Swedish calls Hemmakväll -Hemmakwell.

Let's be serious here. No self respecting American who doesn't know Swedish would pronounce Hemmakväll - Hemmakwell. They would probably say something like Hemmakvall. That's it. As in Hemmakvaahhhlll. Because we don't understand the ä, but we totally understand how the V works.

 It is the W that we sometimes mispronounce because in English W always says wah and never vah.

Seriously Hemmakväll it isn't funny it is just annoying.

You can listen to it here, but be warned, the stupid hemmakwell moment comes at the end, after a long string of bad acting and unnecessary profanity.

I used to feel bad for Hemmakväll because I am pretty sure movie rental will be obsolete in about 5 years, and it's been about 3 since I have last rented a film. But now I don't feel so bad.

How To Break Out of a Swedish Jail

OK, this happened many years ago, and I do hope a lot of things have changed since then, but it was a story that made me laugh and wish, if I were going to be a criminal anywhere, I would be a criminal here in Sweden.

So one night, late at night, some gangsters showed up at a large prison. They were armed with some big guns.

Now remember, unlike the US, big guns aren't very common in Sweden.

They busted into the prison in an attempt to rescue their friend.

The prison guards response?

Stand down. Do not confront the gunmen. Release the prisoner. Go home and have a cup of coffee.

Now I don't mean to trivialize the experience of the guards. I think it would be very scary to have some people attack you with a gun. I think there are a lot of scary things about being a prison guard. This is one of the many reasons I have not pursued that particular career.

But the first thing I thought was, damn, every one is now going to call up their friends, tell them to bring their big guns, and get them the heck out of Dodge.

All in all, I think the whole thing was ballsy, from both the criminals to the guards.

And in the end it did not lead to a whole spate of prison breakouts. Although, why I do not know.

Prisons in Sweden are more luxurious than American college dorms. You get privacy, a TV, decent food. It's not a bad life if you don't mind not having any real personal freedoms.

Sweden, the Euro, and the End of Days

These days all eyes are on Greece and everyone is waiting to see if they will be driven to bankruptcy or rescued once again at the last minute by the powers that be (Germany, Belgium, France to the rescue!)

But what about Sweden? What does this mean for Sweden? This really remains anyone's guess, and I wonder if that is the reason many Swedish newspapers are just kind of choosing to cover this in a rather minimalistic fashion. Because really if I went by the information in my morning paper, the stuff going on in Greece is just a minor kerfuffle.

I mean the US press is pretty certain this is a sign of the end of days for all of Europe. All of that maternity leave, 40 hour work week, 5 week vacation greediness that is the European way of life cannot be sustainable, can it? Europeans will be eaten alive by their own greed.

But then there is Sweden. Sweden voted on the Euro a bunch of years ago, and the vote was a resounding NO! Despite a large push and campaign led by the current powers that be, the Moderates, they were not in power at the time and the Swedish population voted to maintain their own currency independent of the Euro, unlike the Danes who didn't switch to the Euro, but allowed themselves to be tied to it (And no I don't really understand how that works in actuality I only know it means they are kind of screwed at the moment).

So Swedish currency, the kronor or SEK, remains rather strong and stable.

Swedes weren't always happy about the choice. When the US financial situation took a hit and the Euro looked like the safe bet, people called for a revote and blamed the Social Democrats for not getting into the Euro while the getting was good.

But now? Now we know better. Now everyone is thrilled Sweden is not tied to the Euro. But does that mean Sweden will be better off? Hard to say, I mean, we are still attached to Europe by that bridge to Denmark. We are still members of the European Union. (See how I'm using WE? I'm even more integrated than I thought).

Even if Sweden isn't tied to the Euro, I think they will be hit pretty hard if the financial crisis spirals out of control and sends Greece into bankruptcy, but I don't think they will be hit as hard as others.

But I say that once again home on a VAB, being paid to care for my sick child, who spent the whole day on my lap and is now finally taking a short nap.

Winter Puking Disease

Well, folks, it is that time of year. It's time for Winter Puking Disease. The best named illness in all of Sweden, if only for it's perfect descriptiveness. It is winter, there is plenty of puking, you feel diseased. In English we call it by it's name, what ever stomach bug that might be eating at your insides, mostly Norovirus. But let's be honest, when you are sitting there feeling gross you aren't thinking, 'gee Norovirus', you sure do suck - you are thinking 'Damn you winter puking disease, be gone'. At least that is what I am thinking. So right now we are washing and cleaning and changing diapers and hoping that winter puking disease stops here. And yes, I have given in to hand sanitizers.

First I'd like to thank the academy....

First off I want to thank Saltistjejen for giving me my first ever blog award. It's the Liebster award for blogs with under 200 followers. Thanks so much!

If you understand Swedish you should check her blog out - it's all about a Swede settling in NYC. It's fun to see her cultural observations from the other side of things. Reading her blog makes me homesick and reminds me of why I love New York City so much.

I hope you don't think I am a spoiled sport by not following the Liebster rule and passing the award on to 5 blogs. I was that little girl who was always totally disappointed when I sent my chain letter out to my friends and never received 300 postcards in return. After too many burns, I gave up on forwarding these types of things.

Although I know this isn't really that kind of thing, I'm going to hold on to my award because I love it and don't want to share!

Even if I don't share my award I do recommend you check out these blogs if you have a chance:

Antropologa - A blog about an American woman settling in Sweden. She just had her second child and she blogs about raising her family here.

Swedishfreak -  She is currently stranded in America, but hopes to get back to Sweden, which she calls home, shortly. Send her a bit of support!

Lost in Stockholm - A great site, with the classic guide to Swedish Men which cannot be missed.

Bo-i-usa.blogspot.com - She lives in the small town of Weed and blogs about her life as a Swede in the US. It's in Swedish but Google translate helps.

Megalagom is new to the blogging about Sweden game - so pop over and say Hi!

Vabbing It - or Sucking on the Teat of the Nanny State Again

Today I had a long list of things to do for work, but last night Little Swede woke up about 10 times and he only does that when he doesn't feel well. Sure enough, when I took him down to breakfast, he was a wreck. The snot was everywhere. And he insisted on having peanut butter (See that American in him?) until he went blue in the face, instead of his musli and yogurt. I know you are probably thinking - its just a toddler phase, but really Little Swede is generally pretty relaxed and easy going, a mood like this means he is not feeling well.

For the past week Little Swede has been fighting a cold, but he's also been chanting 'Play Play Play' so we have taken him to school. But today he is home.

And I am taking VAB out for a test drive.

What is VAB? Vab is when the Swedish government pays you to stay home with your sick kid. Seriously. I get 80% of my salary today for playing 'bilencar' which involves looking at pictures of cars and shouting their names, and eating popcorn while watching the Life series Mammal episode and fast forwarding through the violent bits.

My American friends usually take one of their own sick days when their kids are sick (most full-time employees have about 10-14 sick days per year with full pay, which they can take as they wish) or they call a family member in desperation. Here you call the State Insurance and report that you are staying home today with your Little One. I am not sure, but will soon find out, if you still have to also include a signed letter from the daycare center saying your child has not attended. 

Strangly enough, it can be more beneficial to an employee to have a sick kid than to be sick themselves. If you are sick, you have to take one day without pay before you can collect sick benefits.  But with VAB you get your money from day one. 

That said, now that Little Swede is napping I'm trying my damndest to give myself a break and not dive into the mountain of things waiting for me. I am, after all, being paid to watch my son, not to work. And this is where that American/Swedish internal conflict roars its evil head. Am I supposed to just sit here and do nothing? Well there is always laundry/dishes/etc to do....